I Think I Can

My Anasazi story

2012-01-01T16:59:00.000-08:00

I'm going to tell you my Anasazi story. I'm hesitant to do so because I am a rather bad example of disobeying Anasazi rules. I seriously wonder if they still tell stories about me. To any of my trail walker who may be reading this, I am sorry for all the frustration I caused you but I am not sorry for any of my actions. I learned who I am through my experience and I am forever grateful for that. I will be posting pictures throughout.

For those of you who don't know what Anasazi is, I will explain. Anasazi is a 6 week outdoor program for troubled youth. You get dropped off in the middle of the wilderness with the 2 trail walkers and the following

(at least 10 years ago this is what you got.)

A down mummy sleeping bag, 2 sets of clothing-day time clothing and night time clothing, a burrito-outside lining for your sleeping bag, 2 bandanna's, 2 can tines, A sweatshirt, a tin cup to cook in, Toilet paper if you're lucky, little bottle of soap, toothbrush and toothpaste, rope, and your food pack, 1 tiny squeeze bottle to purify your water, a pair of rugged outdoor sandals and boots.

The things I took that were against the rules are as follows

gum, pain killers, my pillow, and a little brush that folded in half and had a mirror in it. The Anasazi way is to not force you to do anything so they let you choose to follow the rules.

Your first week you're a rabbit foot so your food pack is small and your trail walkers make your fire that you cook over.

Rabbit foot food pack consisted of the following-

1 zip lock of rice, 1 zip lock of lentils, 1 zip lock of powdered cheese, 1 zip lock of tang, 1 zip lock of bouillon, 1 zip lock of raisins, 1 zip lock of wheat noodles, 1 zip lock of oatmeal, 1 zip lock of corn meal, 1 zip lock of brown sugar, 1 zip lock of powdered milk, and1 zip lock of raw sunflower seeds, a zip lock of bacon bits(my favorite). oh and salt.

Your second week there you get a bow drill set and they tech you to make your own fire using your bow drill set. After that in order to eat your have to start your own fire and they add produce to your food pack which consisted of the following

1 apple, 1 onion, 1 bulb of garlic, 2 carrots, 1 small baggie of powdered butter, 1 large potato, and sun dried tomatoes.

Every week your trail walkers were switched out for new ones and you received a new full food pack with new underwear and socks. Half way through you also got a new set of daytime and night time clothes, a new sweatshirt and new bandanna's. Every week your new trail walker also brings you letters from your family and your old trail walker take letters from you to your family.

The goal of Anasazi is to overcome any problems you are having without being forced and with counseling. Once a week a licensed therapist came and saw you on the trail for an hour to check on progress. They are the ones who get to say if you are ready to go home. I liked mine. Then there's back up, who is a trail walker with special first aide training who drive around in a truck around the camps unseen but their just in case anything happens. There is also a windwalker, who is a trailwalker who goes from camp to camp just as an extra set of eyes, and generally had more experience then regular trail walkers. I loved my wind walker. Her name was amber.

So, my brother was sent to Anasazi to help him deal with his drug addiction. When he came home I thought is was cool and begged my parents to send me. I was suffering a bit from depression and honestly I wanted to drop 20 pounds and thought it would be a fun way to do that. Eventually my parents agreed that it was a good idea and sent me in the end of February. I was stoked.

me tying up my pack. You made your pack out of your sleeping bag. Tied it a specific way with the rope you're given and use your burrito for straps. It generally weighed about 80-110 pounds

I got out to the trail with one other girl with me, tricia, and 2 trail walkers. We made mac and cheese for dinner which I thought was yummy. I was starving mind you, and then we settled in for the night. You sleep on the ground. I didn't sleep much. The male trail walker was nice enough to sing to tricia and I to help us fall asleep. No luck. The next morning the hiking started. Your trail walkers have a map and with the aide of the map they get you to you Final destination for the week. Referred to as Final D. It was generally anywhere from 60 miles to 120 miles in a 1 week period. They generally tried to split it between monday through friday so you could rest Saturday and sunday. So 12 to 20 miles a day. With an 80 pound pack. Needless to say, I was miserable. My trailwalkers said the first week was the hardest and that it would get easier. I believed them.

me working over my fire. Yes I am super dirty.

I made my final D that first week and said goodbye to my trail walkers and met my new trail walker, singular. She was not my favorite. That they switched we made our bow drill sets and started learning to make our own fires. I loved that part and took to it right away. We also got our first produce pack and foolishly scarfed our sweet apple in the first 5 minutes. We learned eventually. I was sleeping by now. After miles of hiking in hard terrain with an 80 pound pack you can't help but sleep.

Morning came and I was not looking forward to hiking. Not because it was hard, not because it made me tired, hungry and sore but because it put me in my own head. Me being stuck in my head is not a good thing and hiking automatically puts me there. The negativity began. Bad memories from my childhood flooded my mind. Memories my subconscious tried so hard to shut out. I couldn't escape. I was miserable. I didn't want to hike anymore. I was done. My 8th day I begged and begged to go home. I chose to come out couldn't I choose to go home? No. That's not how it works. That night we set up camp at a bat cave with soft sand around it. It was one of my favorite places. I started to cook with my new food. I was surprisingly good at that part and loved it.

One trail walker who only visited anasazi every now and then gave me a flute he made out of bamboo. It was very special to me. You are generally not given anything at anasazi, The point is to earn things and make your own things. To be given something is rare and so are flutes. So very special.

The next morning came and I decided not to hike. As I said I was done. A lot of kids experience the same, stuck in your own head, thing as I did. They want you to work through the things that go through your head with your counselor. Work through them, get passed them, walk forward. A wonderful idea. Which works for most people. I, however, am very rarely like most people. Since I chose not to walk and they don't like to force you, my trail walker and tricia left me to join the older girls in the badger stone group. The wind walker joined me. Which is when I met Amber. I stayed at that bat cave for 5 days and nights. Learning to cook and talking with amber. She made sense to me. She talked me into trying again. So the sixth day we packed up, and hiked at least 45 miles to meet up with the badger stone girls at final D. No one hikes that much in one day. I did. That's when I got a reputation around the camps. The boy groups heard about me and started calling me bat girl and the sitter. Family, I was never known for being lazy, which I know is what you all thought of me.

I met the rest of the girls and the their trail walkers and was happy to get to know and be with them. I got to know them. They talked to me. They liked me. They learned from me. The trail walkers saw a good thing. I sang for around the fire. I taught them how to cook better and yummier things. I helped them make their fires. I was good for them. I met with my counselor and spoke with him of my difficulties. I spoke of my childhood abuse and health issues and peer issues. I had already worked through and dealt with most and yet when I hiked, I couldn't escape it. I told him I didn't think the program was right for me, Hiking wasn't right for me. I wasn't progressing. He didn't agree. I sent horrible letters to my family of how much I hated it there and how miserable I was and how it was their fault for not letting me come home. I was horrible. I was mad, madder then I think I've ever been.

my goodies. My bow drill set, my many leather bags I made, my frost knife, and my book of mormon. The spoons I made for myself and my mom and dad. I got really good at making spoons.

Week three started. I hiked with the other girls. I tried escaping my memories by singing or talking with the other girls. I started reading my book of mormon and loving it. I started to pray and have a real relationship with my heavenly father. None of it worked while hiking. I generally spent my day crying and miserable and my nights happy and chatting with the girls. I made them happy. Which made me happy. My sleeping bag broke and I was cold every night. I got an ingrown toenail. I hurt. More mentally then physically. About the third day of the third week the hiking got particularly difficult. About a mile from our destination for the night I dropped to the ground, broke down and gave up. I was done. I was content with that decision. One trailwalker stayed with me, the other went ahead with the other girls. I explained to my trailwalker, she listened and didn't argue. She radioed back up who showed up to drive us the last mile to the other girls. I declined. I wanted to be heard. I didn't want the easy way out. Backup radioed Ezekiel, the founder of Anasazi who just happened to be out on the trail. He came and visited with me. He listened. He told me stories of his life. He taught me of his hardships. I was grateful. I loved him and felt love from him. I hiked to the other girls still determined not to hike. The next morning Jen stayed with me and the other girls left. I was alone again and still content. The week finished. Jen left a new trail walker joined me, also named Amber. I like her. Ezekiel decided that since I wouldn't hike I wouldn't get a new food pack. I am grateful to him for that decision. I only had my lentils and bullion left. That night I didn't sleep. I was freezing with my broken sleeping bag and I hurt and I was sad. I turned to my friend and heavenly father. For about 2 hours I talked, no discussed, with him my feelings. I heard him and he heard me. I still feel a peace like no other when I think back on that night. He understood. My past was not to be forgotten because I had to learn from it. However, I no longer needed to put myself in a position that left me dwelling on it. He understood. I was happy and content. The program wasn't perfect for me. It was in a way, harmful for me. I no longer needed to put myself in that harmful position. The next morning I was happy, peaceful and I asked to talk to my counselor.

Me and my dad during parents week.

My counselor came. We talked. I explained of my conversation with my Heavenly Father. He didn't believe me. I told him of my decision to no longer hike and that whether or not they were okay with it, I was and my Heavenly father was and that was all that mattered to me at that point. He listened but disapproved. I was disobeying. Not working the program, a bad example. I would be kept an extra 2 weeks. I didn't care. They could do as they willed. I was alright. I was doing what was right for me. I was aware that my heavenly father was happy with my decision. He said he'd talk with my parent and Ezekiel. That week I went without my food pack and didn't experience hunger. I was happy. I sat, I read, I worked on waking forward, I prayed, I sang, I read. I talked with my trail walker. Eventually about 4 days in my trailwalker was radioed that we would be joined by the rest of the girls that night. It turned out that since they left none of them could start their own fire and therefore none of them had eaten for several days. Since I could make a fire they would be coming back to me. That night it rained. They were miserable and hungry. The sprinkling made it hard to start a fire. I was even having a hard time. Eventually my trailwalker agreed to try it tandem. Both of us working the bow. After that it was up to me. I was successful and the girls finally ate. A lot. Sharing food is frowned upon so none of them offered me anything. However, I could see they all wanted to and were pained to sit there and eat thanks to my work while I went without food. I reminded them often that I was fine and that I really wasn't hungry. They stayed for the rest of the week.

Week four started. Trailwalkers were swapped out. My counselor and told me of his meeting with my parents and ezekiel. He brought with him a new sleeping bag and a full food pack. All for me. Turn out he did not believe me but my mother did. And she stood up for me. I believe her exact words were, "If my daughter says she conversed with the Lord and came to an understanding then I believe she did.". The program changed for me after that. I was given my own trailwalkers. I got to pick our hiking route. I got to pick how often we stopped. It was decided that the other girls would be with me as often as possible. Turns out their counselors decided I was a good influence on them whether I hiked or not.

Me with my goodies.

Me doing my favorite thing. Cooking

I hiked a little. By little, I mean at least 40 miles a week. I progressed a ton. I made a ton. I did a lot in my work book. I learned a lot. I started to love the program. I would still be staying an extra 2 weeks. I finally got my frost. A coveted sharp knife that most get in their second week. Due to my bad behavior I got it in my 4th week. The program changed with me and for me. I made friendships with not only the other girls but my trailwalkers. I think they liked me despite my bad attitude. I learned to learn from the horrible things life throws at you but not dwell on them. I learned to listen. I learned to ask for help. Something I should probably learn again. I learned to make wonderful food out of the not so wonderful things they gave us. Including, delicious twice baked potato with cheese, onions, garlic bacon bit and salt. I learned to make amazing oatmeal as well as lasagna with my my little cup. My favorite were my muffins. I had to borrow someone else's cup to make a muffin and eventually I had to borrow the other girls cups in round because whoever's cup I borrowed got half of the muffin and they all wanted half of my muffins. I learned to make a type of honey butter with my brown sugar. powdered butter and powdered mild to eat with my muffins. As well as a of sweet nut butter by roasting my sunflower seeds and crushing them up and adding powdered butter, powdered milk and a tiny bit of brown sugar. My eighth week fast approached. They couldn't decide if they wanted to keep me another 2 weeks to make my experience a total of ten weeks or to let my eighth be my last.

Me and my mom on the trail.

I wanted to see my parents and my family but I would be content if they decided on another 2 weeks. Your last week they call your solo week. You're on your own, with your trail walkers at least 100 feet away from you at all times. They normally tell you at the beginning of the week. I think they wanted to test me and see if I was truly content with another 2 weeks out there so they did. I din't find out my 8th week was my solo week until 2 day in. Then my solo week started. It was my favorite week and I was excited to see my parents. They meet you out on the trail for 2 days and 1 night and then you all hike out together. I was always able to make my fire and eat that last week. My parents finally came and I was excited to show them my outdoor cooking skills. I was informed that my food wouldn't taste good to them. It was only good to me because I'd been int he middle of the wilderness for 8 weeks and they hadn't. My parents brought new food packs with them and I got started. We roasted garlic cloves and onion peels in the ashes and dipped it in my powdered cheese. A trick I'd learned to love. My mom still talks about good that was to this day. I made them my famous twice baked potatoes that I had perfected and a couple muffins since they brought cups too. I think they liked it cause they ate it all. I lie, I know they loved it. They were afraid of my 8th week being my last but when they got there and they saw me in action they saw my progress and were happy with it. I know they were happy with the trail food cause my moms till talks about it. I showed them all the things I had made. Told them of my friends and trailwalkers and we were happy.

reading letters from the rest of my family.

They brought letters from the rest of my family. Most of whom expressed their disappointment in me for failing to work the program. I understood why they felt that's what had happened and didn't care. I knew better and was still ecstatic to hear from them. My parents shared some of their sentiments until those 2 days they spent with me on the trail. Apparently once my experience on the trail changed I failed to right as much and therefore they never got to hear the good stuff from me. They heard the good stuff when they got there. We hiked out on the last day and met the van that would drive us back to the anasazi building with the other girls and their parents. My parent also got to chat some with the other girls and learned more of my journey from them. I was most thrilled by the fact that the van had fresh bananas and bagels that I could scarf down.

There it is. My first 4 weeks were a nightmare, my last 4 weeks were one of the best experiences of my life. I'd love to be able to send all my children one day. Again, I don't support my behavior for others but it was right for me. I spent many days just sitting and working. and many days hiking. It was very different for me then it was for most but had just as much of an impact.

Looking back, having POTS and knowing that it takes an epic event in a POTS patients life that kicks the symptoms into to gear, I think that is another reason my experience was different. I think had my Anasazi experience stayed the same my POTS would have kicked into gear at a much younger age and I wouldn't have been able to get a handle on all of my other disorders.

If any of you decide you want my outdoor, over the fire recipes I'd be happy to post them.

The Dog Park and 'Mark'

2011-11-27T17:48:00.000-08:00

Bryce and I took Bigby to Cosmo dog park today. Cosmo dog park is my favorite dog park because it has the man made lake and my dog loves to retrieve in the water.

Today's trip was quite annoying. Another reason I love Cosmo dog park is because generally the people there are chill. In my opinion the dog park is the place for a dog to be an all out dog. They're off leash, they're aloud to run as much as they want, they can get wet and get their ball as many times as they want. They are also allowed to be rambunctious and and play with other dogs.

Bigby sleeping on the laundry. He does this every time I do laundry.

I don't know about your dog but for my dog, normal dog play consists of the following

running after (chasing) and being chased by other dogs
running side by side with several dogs
putting his front paws up on other dog and letting other dogs putt their paws on him
the occasional wrestle where Bigby is on his back or Bigby has another dog on their back
and the jowl and ear grabbing.
Also the occasional play growling. Which, by the way, my dog is a hypocrite about. He will think it's fine to play growl and be vocal sometimes but if another play growl or get vocal his tail goes between his legs and he shrinks in fear.

Bigby has always played this way and is generally very submissive. Today at the dog park it seemed like no one wanted there dog to play with other dogs. Now Bigby is a retriever and he spends 80% of his time at the dog park retrieving his ball from the water but he also really likes to play with the other dogs. And today no people wanted their dogs to play. Just run and retrieve. It was obnoxious. If my dog started to tease their dog into play they'd get on my dog to come back to me or leave their dog alone. I'm sorry but if you don't want your dog to interact with other dogs then the dog park is the wrong place to be.

Now my Bigby is bulky for a lab. (see below)

Today it seemed that the other dog owners at the dog park interpreted my dogs bulkiness to be meanness. My dog is not mean. He's one of the sweetest dogs I've ever owned. Even with my tiny 4 pound chihuahua, Fergie. Yes he'll use his mouth when he plays. Today however he didn't and the other owners were still snipity. So I came home and googled, 'normal dog play behavior', because I've always been told that sensitive inhibited play bites are normal. Especially around the jowls and ears. So, the first thing that popped up in my google search was THIS. Notice the, "Plays the “bite-each-other's mouth” game.- This is normal play behavior., this is what I mean by jowls. See, other dog owners, it is normal play behavior. Today, when a dog started doing it to my dog it was okay but when Bigby started to play back and respond, it wasn't okay.

Worn out after the dog park.

It was just frustrating. I suppose my purpose of this post is to say, if you are going to go to the dog park, RELAX. Your dog does, so should you. Don't go to the dog park if you don't want any other dogs around your dog. Not aggression but mouthing with gentle teething of other dogs is normal dog play behavior. Especially around the mouth.

Bigby retrieving his ball.

One funny thing did happen while we were bathing Bigby at the cleaning station before exiting the dog park. I'll start by telling you that when I was teaching my dog to retrieve I also taught him to 'mark' what I wanted him to retrieve for me. I say 'mark' and he stops what he's doing, tuns back to look at me and focuses on what's in my hand so he knows what to bring back to me. This way if there's a green ball, a red ball and a blue ball, and I throw the red ball, he knows to bring me back the red ball. Or if there's several toys on the floor and I throw his squeaky rope, he knows to bring me back his squeaky rope as apposed to just any toy on the floor. I take a special orange ball at to the dog park. A ball that he can squeeze in his mouth without breaking, so I make him 'mark' it before I throw it. It just so happens that the word, 'mark', will always get Bigby's attention. If he's all the way on the other side of the dog park and I want his attention I yell, 'mark' and he automatically looks to me. So, today I'm bathing Bigby and this guy stops and says, "hey, what's your dogs name?", "Bigby", I say. He frowns and says, "oh, there was this big male yellow lab over there that I swear they were calling Mark and I thought it was your dog.". I laugh and say that my dog but his name isn't Mark. The man looks confused and I explain that 'mark' is a command I give my dog to make him look and see what I want him to retrieve. The man started laughing and say, "my name is Mark and I've never met a dog named Mark before. I thought it was a first, but that makes way more sense. Who ever heard of a dog named Mark?" and walked away laughing. It made the trip to the dog park much better.

Nephews

2011-11-01T18:19:00.000-07:00

I am the youngest of 11 children. 7 of us are girls, 4 are boys. I have 40 nieces and nephews on my side. 23 are girls, 17 are boys. I have 1 nephew on my husbands side. My family is girl heavy. All my nieces and nephews are special but lately the boys have made laugh. I love them. I remember something specific about all of them. (dear sisters, if you son isn't pictured or mentioned, it's not on purpose.)

Mitchell with 3 or his sisters.

Chandler, He's the oldest. All the others look up to him. He rocks. However, he was by far the most obnoxious toddler to babysit. His catch phrase was, "your not the boss of me".

Booker and Ike

Booker

Booker. Booker's my buddy. No, seriously, I say, "Booker, who's my buddy?" and he says, "I am".

This is Jarem and Trigg. Their older brother was babysitting them soviet russian style. These 2 are super smart. Too smart sometimes. Love Trigg. He used to sing the 'scary song'. By which he was referring to the Phantom of the Opera song. LOVE

Trigg, he also squints his left eye just like I do.

Tate, the one who duck taped Jarem and trigg in the previous picture.

They are constantly being pressured into letting the girls do something. They're good sports. I think they might even like the attention. But Shhh.

This is Asher is his Halloween costume. Isn't he adorable! He's Clark and Margarets youngest. She has some awesome videos of him laughing on her blog.

This is my first nephew on Bryce's side. Jace Carter Christiansen. He's adorable. And so far, nice and snuggly.

And this is my twin sisters latest and greatest. Everett. That's his big sister Lexi holding him. It's a funny picture.

Everett again. Isn't he super cute. I need to make some memories with this one.

I have some really funny quotes I remember from my nephews. I think my all time favorite quotes are from Kevin. My sister Joys second boy. He had such a fabulous speech impediment. He grew out of it though.

They're all taller then me by the time they're 12. Then they aren't as funny. But I love them. Chandler is the oldest out of all my nieces and nephews. I respect him. He's a good kid. I should say man. He's a man now. That's weird. I hope they always know they can count on me. I hope they always know they can call me in the middle of the night and I will listen. I hope they know if they don't want their mom to drive them somewhere, or can't. I will. They make me laugh. I hope they never stop trying to make me laugh. I love them.

Bigby jumping off the dock. Finally.

2011-09-19T14:18:00.000-07:00

Bigby hasn't been to the dog park since his surgery which was about 16 days ago. So, we decided to go today. He is a fabulous retriever in the water but I have never been able to get him to jump off the dock. Until today. I knew once he did it he'd love it. I took pork today to bribe him. Sure enough, once he did it, he kept getting back on the dock and waited for me to throw his ball. I think he'll get better the more does it.

I was so proud. Sorry the videos are sideways. I couldn't figure out how to turn them.

Positve

2011-09-15T13:25:00.000-07:00

This is not a word most people would use to describe me. I understand it and yet am still a little bothered by it. Not bothered by the fact that people consider me to be a negative and down person but that my attitude and activity aren't considered positive in my situation. Or that it is the only thing that people notice about me.

Should situation be considered when deciding if one has a positive attitude? Probably not. I have a friend who, almost every time I talk to her, reminds me that people are generalized not individualized. I also understand this point. If I'm being honest that fact probably does bother me but I try not to let it. I am very rarely included in a generalized statement or group of people.

Lyrics from Les Miserables, "there are dreams that cannot be, and there are storms we cannot weather". How true are these lyrics? Not very. Yes there is a, however, coming. I recently read another blog post about these lyrics. It was a very positive blog post. What everyone wants right? It was all, Every dream can be accomplished, always have hope. Things always get better. Very positive. In my opinion also very unrealistic.

What does positive mean to you? This is the dictionary definition.

positive (ˈpɒzɪtɪv)

— *adj*
1.	characterized by or expressing certainty or affirmation: apositive answer
2.	composed of or possessing actual or specific qualities; real: apositive benefit
3.	tending to emphasize what is good or laudable; constructive:he takes a very positive attitude when correcting pupils'mistakes
4.	tending towards progress or improvement; moving in abeneficial direction
5.	philosophy
	a. constructive rather than sceptical
	b. (of a concept) denoting the presence rather than theabsence of some property

How important is it to you that someone be positive? Important enough that you'd like them to put a smile on all the time even if they're dying a little inside? Important to degrade and judge them for not pretending everything is fantastic or for not looking on the bright side? Most of you will read those last 2 questions and respond with a resounding, NO, of course not, in your head. However, I guarantee, you've made someone feel like it is that important to you at least once.

noun, plural -ties.

the state or character of being positive: a positivity thataccepts the world as it is.

something positive.

Although I may not be positive, I find I am a lot of the synonyms for the word positive.

positive
Part of Speech:	adjective
Definition:	definite, certain
Synonyms:	absolute, actual, affirmative, assured,categorical, clear, clear-cut, cocksure, cold*,complete, conclusive, concrete, confident,consummate, convinced, decided, decisive,direct, downright, explicit, express, factual, firm,forceful, forcible, genuine, hard, inarguable,incontestable, incontrovertible, indisputable,indubitable, irrefutable, out-and-out, outright,perfect, rank, real, specific, sure, thorough,thoroughgoing, unambiguous, undeniable,unequivocal, unmistakable, unmitigated

Back to the Lyrics being unrealistic. There are some dreams that cannot be. For example, I will never give birth to a baby of my own flesh and blood. But that does not mean I won't be a mother. Storms can be weathered and things do get better. This does not mean good. You can survive stage 4 cancer but still continue doing rounds of chemo for the rest of your life. Shall we say, "yay chemo!!". Yes, because if you say, "gosh, I can't stand the nausea and exhaustion and all the chemo crap.", then you are a horrible person and no one wants to talk to you. Now your thinking, yes chemo is horrible but rather then think about that think about the fact that you get to wake up in the morning. You get to see your family. There are a lot of things I'm good at. This is not one of them. My brain automatically goes to, thousands of dollars of medical debt. Waking up to nausea and vomiting, not being able to do anything with family and friends because of medical debt and nausea and vomiting.

Dear Facebook users, if you didn't already know this, facebook is not a sight for personality or your feelings. Unless they're positive feelings, of course. It is strictly a sight for happy goodness. If you post anything else expect criticism, and people telling you that you need to be a better person.I know a woman who is going through really rough time right now. I will not give details but trust me, it would be detrimental to most and crippling to some. Most of the time this woman starts the day with posts like, "it's a new day and I'm ready to face it". Today however, she woke up to a dead car battery already running late to get her children to school after a sleepless night with a sleepless baby. She expressed a bit of frustration with regard to the way the day started. Which in my opinion is totally reasonable. This is one of the responses she got.

One time I heard this awesome story and I don't remember very much of it at all, but I remember that there was this super happy guy and someone asked him how he stayed so happy all the time and he said something like, "Every morning I wake up and I look out my bedroom window. Rain or shine, I say to myself 'this is exactly the kind of day I was hoping for.'" Hope your day gets happier!

I know this makes me an even worse person but responses like this irritate the Heck out of me. My response is, "what can I do to make things easier for you?" Not, "freaking get over it and choose to be happy, no matter the situation." Now I know that may not be what the responder meant but that's what it sounds like a lot of the time. My response to that response was, "please, no one hopes for a dead car battery and a sleepless night. If you say you do then you're lying. Lying is just wrong. Way worse then a frown every now and then." I probably shouldn't have said anything.

I find more and more often that the things I'd like to say are the wrong things to say. This whole post is probably the wrong thing. Definitely not what you wanted to read today right. I also have a hard time just keeping things in my head to, though.

For those of you that know me.

Do you think I'm a positive person?

Does that bother you? Be honest.

Have you ever felt like I have judged you? I don't mean, have I ever responded negatively to your actions, I mean judged you?

Do you feel like there is anything I wouldn't do for you if you asked?

Do you feel that I have ever not listened to your point of view?

Do you feel like I'd ever bad mouth you behind your back, or do you know that I'd bring anything to you first?

On my sickest day do you think you could count on me?

Is there anything you don't think you could come to me with?

Do you think, I am a good person?

Out of all these things, what's more important to you?

( Questions are rhetorical and do not need to be answered out loud. )

California 2011

2011-08-22T12:45:00.000-07:00

California 2011. I know, It's about time. Here are a bunch of pictures from the proffitt family vacation this year. I didn't get even 1 picture of Bryce and I.

Ike and booker

Mitchell, Miranda and Seaver

Ike, Miranda, Mitchell, Seaver and Andria

Same group plus booker

Seaver, Miranda and Andria

Zanya and Mitchell

Jan with Baby Asher. He was a crown pleaser.

Booker and Ike

Sherry and Abbigail AKA Queenie

Hanna and Queenie. She just got right off her moms lap and right onto Hanna's

My mom and Ron. I must say Ron did really well for his first year. It takes everyone who marries into our family a while to get used to our kind of vacation. We literally just sit on the beach all day.

Laney, following her mom. I got her to talk to me once. But only after I started making animal noises.

Baby asher.

the teens and Dan

Brandon in the hat. He dug holes. The kids loved it.

Lexi and Addie are always the best of friends. Laney jumped in the picture too.

funny story about Lexi and Addie.

While at the campground walking together and chatting..

Addie- she just took my kitty. It's okay for now but I want my kitty back. I like my kitty. She's a cute kitty. I take her with me all the time. Abbigail stole her though, that's why I don't have her.....

Lexi-(flailng her hands for emphasis) Addie, forget about the kitty

It totally cracked me up. Loved it.

Bryce and some kids. Dax and trigg trying to play one of the big kid games together.

Hanna and Danica working on their tan.

Joy and Dave

Wendell. Ha Ha

Cassie and Laney

The kids in one of Brandons sweet holes.

My awesome new beach bag at work. Breazy usually carried it to the beach which made it that much better.

Sand dollars that seaver found. We're a sand dollar family. It started with my mom. She used to collect them. Now all the kids search the beach for them and then show them off. There were a ton this year.

Daves sand sculpture this year.

A "sand"which. Get it. Funny.

Kinsey doing Tates hair. It was a dare. One of my nieces found a truth or dare app, so we played.

I love this trip. It is the perfect vacation. You don't have to be anywhere or do anything, you just get to sit on the beach with the ocean air, a good book and entertaining children. It was a great time. So glad Bryce could make it this year.

My sweet Pepper and Izzy

2011-08-07T13:23:00.000-07:00

I have one friend form high school that I still see regularly. I hope I continue to see her regularly for the rest of my life. She is one of my favorite woman and somehow I think she will always be able to put up with me. Her name is Ashley and she recently gave birth to beautiful identical twin girls. Today they was their blessing. Their father, Corey, did a beautiful job. I will have those blessing typed up soon Ashley and Corey. I promise.

Anyways, Here are their gorgeous girls. Izzy and Pepper. Izzy on the left, Pepper on the Right.

Izzy. She's a little smaller and she has two little dimples on one cheek.

She's a little bigger and I hope I can always tell these sweet babies apart. I'm afraid I'll only be able to when they're side by side.

Proud grandparents. Ashley's mom and dad.

Pretty Grandma

Handsome Grandpa. He always has a look of pure joy on his face when holding one of his sweet grand daughters.

Happy mom and dad withe their wonderful babies.

I fed Pepper and then changed her out of her blessing gown. She was wide awake and enthralled as I told her how pretty she was.

Me and Pepper.

When I talk to them I tell them I am their aunt Callie. Not by blood maybe but I love these girls and their mother as much as my sisters and nieces. I hope I can spoil them and can do their hair for prom and tell them fun stories about their mom and I. I love you Izzy and Pepper.

POTS-Please watch

2011-08-06T00:23:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been feeling more down trodden then normal about my disorder POTS. So I decided to see if youtube could lend some support. Sure enough I found these amazing videos. I can't tell how often I have felt %100 of what these people are saying. It made me feel so much better to watch these videos. I'm not gonna lie, I totally cried a couple times feeling the comfort of understanding, I urge you to please watch these videos. Not just for me but for the people in your life who may have this disorder and are still not diagnosed. It took me 2 and a half years of tests that came back odd or wrong but with no explanation. 2 and a half years of doctors telling me that maybe I just need to switch my birth control or consider the fact that it's all in my head. 2 and a half years, no I lied, this part still goes on and I believe it will go on forever, of people, some who are supposed to love me, thinking that I'm lazy, crazy, too emotional, wanting for attention or depressed instead of being sick. It was eventually a coworker who has a sister in law with the same disorder that suggested POTS to me. Tender mercy. If more people knew about this it may have only taken 6 months to reach a diagnosis.

Best video about POTS part 1

I know they aren't short but please, I beg of you, watch them all. 90% of my friends and family still have no idea what is wrong with me and I feel like you don't care. You can't see anything wrong with me so that must mean it's not that big of deal. There is nothing further from the truth. I say these things and put them in writing so that if you have POTS and you are reading this, you know that you are not the only one who has felt that way.

part 2

During my tilt table test, they only raised me to 70 degrees. My resting/laying down for 20 min, heart rate was 80 BPM. It took only 4 minutes to reach 182 BPM. That's an increase of over 100 BPM, I an a very severe case of POTS. When you hear them talk about 20% or 30% etc of of POTS patients suffering from certain symptoms or related disorders, I always fall into that percentage. To those of you out there who also fall into those ranges, you are not alone. After about 12 min at 70% elevation my heart rate started to enter the 200 BPM ( heart attack range). My doctor who was awful still wanted to see me lose consciousness. Needless to say, I didn't like him very much. Fortunately he was not the one performing my test. The doctor in the hospital decided I was too much at risk and lowered me without actually seeing me pass out.

Part 3

Please know this is not a plea for sympathy. It is a plea for you to educate yourselves a little about POTS so that, hopefully, you can be someone else's tender mercy.

Thought that I can't post on facebook.

2011-08-05T20:14:00.000-07:00

What most people consider as a problem with women I think of like this. Most of us, women, can't not contemplate things further. Someone does or says something hurtful (on purpose or not) and it keeps us up at night, makes us sad, angry or hurt. Then we're tired and frayed. Emotionally and mentally. Then we are emotional and bring things up that matter to us but maybe not to you. And you push it and us aside as crazy, irrational or overly emotional. But God made us that way on purpose. So that when our kid scrapes their knee, we remember to get neosporin in the morning. so that we can understand and empathize with others. So that we can teach our children not to do things that keep others up at night.

For those of you who will read this and automatically relate it to my husband or something that he may or may not have done, please don't. There are other people in this world who can have an affect on m thoughts.

2011-07-17T14:31:00.000-07:00

Saturday evening Bryce and I decided to get off our tired sick butts and take Bigby to go sit y and play in the river. I grabbed our beach blanket and put of my swimsuit and we left.

Bigby loved it! He loved the water. He soaked my blanket though. I wouldn't go again without taking chairs.

Where we were there was this little barge of sticks.

Bryce was proud of Bigby for figuring out how to get on it.

He's such a good retriever. At the dog park, if someone throws a ball in the fake lake and their dog won't go get it, I can point to it so Bigby see's it and say, "retrieve", and he'll go get it for me. He's so smart.

Good boy. The work mark can get his attention no matter where we are or what he is doing. When I first started teaching him, "retrieve", he didn't quite get it so I decided to start with, "mark". When I say, "mark", he's supposed to look at me and find what I want him to focus on. He can be all the way across the park playing with other dogs and I can say, "mark", and he automatically stops what he's doing to look at me. It's nice.

He loves the lake. He takes his ball into the shallow water and like plays with it by holding his ball under the water and dunking his head to get it. Like when I make him retrieve under water. I'm amazed he likes doing that so much. I'm not going to lie, about 3 days out of the month he drives me crazy but most of the time I love him.

Totally awesome beach bag!

2011-07-10T08:35:00.000-07:00

I was doing laundry the other day and my beach bag went through the loads. When it was nice and clean. I decided it was time for a new beach bag. See, every year my family goes to California for a week. Every day we pack up lunches, towels, blankets, chairs, etc. and hit the beach all day, every day. So, I wanted a really big beach bag. One that would make it so all I had to carry to the beach was that one bag. So my hunt began. I finally came across one Here but I didn't like the fabric. So I copied the pictures and sent them to my sewing genius sister and asked her if she could make it. She said sure and I went fabric shopping that day.

Here's the totally awesome result! I think I'm swooning. Over a bag.

Lined in the cute patterned fabric. I bought outdoor, thick, cotton fabric rather then just plain fabric so it would be more durable. Especially since it's lined.

There are 7 pockets on the outside of varying sizes. Couple small ones for keys and cell phone and then some medium and large ones for books and water.

My 1 liter bottle and my book to give you an idea of size. Dimensions- 22in long by 17 in wide and 12 in wide. Fabric was 48 inches wide I think and I bought two yards of the patterned fabric and 1 1/2 yards of the plain fabric. My sister used just about all of it. Did I mention that I am in love with this bag.

My husband and I are taking my sisters 2 children with us until they can join us on Wednesday. With this bag I can carry all our towels, our water, our beach blanket, our books, our everything. All in one bag. My sister even padded the straps. And Not shown is a longer strap so that I can carry cross body over the shoulder as well as the 2 short straps.

Thanks again, my sewing genius sister! I absolutely adore my new, huge beach bag.

Adventures with Bigby- Tubing down the river

2011-07-06T10:48:00.000-07:00

I love this dog. Sometimes he drives me crazy but most of the time, I adore him.

For the 4th of July we decided to go tubing down the river. We also decided to take Bigby with us. Yes the 4 hour trip of tubing down the river with out dog. Our very big dog. We took a tube for him but he had no idea how to be on it so he with me on my tube the whole time. He was the hit of the river. We don't have any pictures cause cameras/phones and water don't really get along. Here are some random pictures.

Bigby napping with me.

He did so good. He was so chill and just layed on me and everyone who saw him had to say hi and thought he was just the best dog ever. I was brimming with pride.

Bigby chilling/gaming with his dad.

We stopped at the 2 hour mark to re apply sunblock and re situate out tube lay out. Bigby jumped off me and relieved himself and then proceeded to play in the river. He was in doggie heaven.

My big lap dog. It was hard for me to finally make him ride in the back seat.

Bigby loved to play against the current. I recently have been training Bigby to retrieve his ball under water. Holding his ball down and making him dunk his head to get his ball. Well, at the river he loved to dunk his head in the running water and come up shaking his head. I didn't even have his ball he was just playing in the water. He was having a ball. He'd even go where he couldn't touch the bottom and swim against the current. That worried me. I kept a close eye. But I didn't have to, he is so smart. He knew just a little way to the side was solid ground.

Bigby, tired after emptying his toy box.

People were amazed at how good he was. Bryce and Yousif did have to "save" him twice. Twice I ran into something and my tube went out from under us and Bigby baled. It was our first time. We learned from it.

How Bigby roles.

The second half of the river went totally smooth. It was awesome. Thanks to yousif for keeping us from hitting anything else. Bigby is my guy. I love him.

To blog or not to blog that is the question.

2011-07-05T23:16:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't posted since May and honestly I still don't feel like posting anything.

Why- I am a person of a different perspective. I look at things differently. I've experienced more pain and suffering then most. I continue to experience pain and suffering on a daily basis. Now, I know what you're thinking, "everyone experiences pain and suffering", I know. Trust me I completely understand. I also understand that you are given what you can handle. And therefore surgery and 24/7 pain for me is just as bad as a broken nail to someone else.

The difference- I don't like it and I'm not going to pretend that I do. I never have a "good" day. I have better days then others but never good. Unless you count, headache, nausea and vomiting, dizziness, constant pain(everywhere), and exhaustion as good. When someone says, "life is what you make it, so make it great", or, "Life is great, so hope it lasts forever", it's horrendously heart breaking for me and feels like a slap in the face. Yes, I know some of you think that is my fault and that I can change that. Please continue on to the end of the paragraph. When someone says, "how are you", the automatic response should be, "fine, how are you", and for some reason I can't train my self to do that. Instead it's normally a grimace and an, "I'm here". I find that people don't like any of that. They construe me as negative. People don't like negative. I don't feel that I'm negative, just different. I don't believe you choose how you feel. I believe you choose how to react to how you feel.When I got my diagnosis I was devastated there was nothing they could do to treat the actual disorder. I chose to cling the fact that I finally had a name and reason for what was wrong with me rather then wallow in the fact there was nothing anyone could do about it. I choose to let go of the heart break and sting from the slap in the face of the previous statements, rather then to hold a grudge or cry or feel guilty because I must be doing something wrong for my body to be so unhealthy and miserable. (I'm not trust me. I do everything I can, the rest is out of my control 100%)

My position- I could choose to put myself in a drugged out haze on a daily basis and decide to get out of bed twice a week. I could choose to be depressed and wonder why I'm still on this god forsaken earth on a daily basis. I could very rationally, blame my depression and drugged out haze and demobilization, if I chose to live that way, on all my disorders and pain and agony and suffering. Some, actually, 82% in my position do all of or 2 of the above. I don't however. I function to the best of my capabilities. I am in the lives of most of my nieces and nephews as the cool aunt. I have a job that I love and cherish. I make my husband food and do our laundry and keep my house as tidy as humanly possible, for me. I take care of and love and 3 dogs and a cat. I try to help my family and friends as often as possible and offer my assistance as often as possible and with pleasure. I do my best.

The outcome- My best, apparently, isn't good enough. To just about anyone. My blog used to be a place for my perspective. My opinions, my feelings, my freedom from everything people want me to be and instead just be me. Unfortunately, that didn't last. I was told by a few people that my negativity on my blog brought them down. I not only have my own feelings and trials but as stated by several psychologists I'm also a hyper em-path. I tend to feel the feelings of everyone I care about and I care about almost everyone. I was recently told by a friend that I came across as one of the least judgmental people she knows and therefore decided to bring a certain situation and feelings into discussions so she could get and unbiased opinion and thoughts on the matter. I love that. That makes me ecstatic that people know they can come to me and discuss things with me free of judgement and take, actually even like my opinion and take it into consideration. At the same time, I feel their pain and anguish like it was my own, along with my own. I am grateful for this. However, it gives me a different perspective, different feelings, different awareness, and usually a different opinion then most. So when a special few told me I brought them down I decided to only put positive things on my blog. And therefore, find that I have nothing to say. You may think that's horrible, and that's okay but it's the truth. This seems to be a "negative" thing for about 90% of people.

The question- As the title says, to blog or not to blog? I'm not changing anytime soon. You may also think that is horrible. You are entitled to you opinion and I respect that. Do I go back to what my blog used to be for and have regular posts and you as my readers be glad to see regular posts from me again? Or has my break from posting been a relief to you and should I just delete my blog all together? No, in betweens. Sorry, in betweens just ends up being the latter of the 2. You either get me as I am, or your grateful not to have to keep up with my life or listen to me anymore. Sorry no pictures.

Thing I'm doing on Youtube

2011-05-02T09:20:00.000-07:00

Thing I'm doing on youtube. Check me out! You can also follow me on twitter. HotGirlNerd

GNN Anonymous April

2011-04-17T09:39:00.000-07:00

So I know I missed the March meeting and no excuse is a good excuse for missing meetings. I've had a couple set backs in my nerdness recovery this month. Such as,

Yet again, my husband was my enabler for this one. When it comes to nerdness that boy is trouble but his nerdness is one of the reasons I love him. So What's a girl to do? The man has good taste for the most part. I know it's wrong of me to say since the whole point of these meetings are to learn to not to succumb to temptation but I can not wait to get my hands on the second volume of this series.

Now this one,

Was all me. My husband had nothing to do with it. This particular plot of my addiction started so many years ago. I just can't seem to let it go. I mean when I heard the words 'Buffy season 8' I thought it was too good to be true.

Guess what?! Soooo true! The whole team is still together. Xander, Buffy, Willow, Spike, Angel, and Dawn. Even the minor characters and old characters are included. You can't blame me for giving into temtation like this, right? I'm ashamed to say it, but season 9 starts shortly and I couldn't be more thrilled. On second thought, I am so not ashamed about this one. I mean I'm not hurting anyone else with my problem right. It's just my problem. I don't think my dogs have eaten in 3 days but they'll survive. Oh please, I can't fool you. My dogs are spoiled rotten. I promise, they still eat 3 rimes a day. Anyways, that's all I have to share for today. My is Callie and I'm a Graphic Novel Nerd!

Bigby has a play date

2011-03-26T16:35:00.000-07:00

Bryce took Bigby to go play with a few friends today. He had a blast. When Bryce showed me the videos, the part where Bigby falls into the pool looks so quick but bryce says it felt longer.

This is Bigby playing with his older cousin Ender. I think they will be life lond friends.

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bigby plays fetch

2011-03-23T17:36:00.000-07:00

So, bryce and I got a little yellow lab this last weekend and his name is Bigby. Papered as Bigby wolf from the Fable graphic novel series. Short for the Big bad wolf. In the graphic novels he's not bad. He sweet and big and thoughtful just like our new puppy. Bigby is also very smart. He already plays fetch with us, knows the command 'sit' and he can also go out on a leash. Here he is playing fetch with me. I post a video later of him sitting for me.

I don't know about tomorrow but today....

2011-02-22T15:03:00.000-08:00

Today I am trying not to cry.

Today I am trying not to be jealous.

Today I am trying to Love my puppies and have that be enough.

Today I am trying to not blame Adam for my pitiful existence on this earth.
Today I am trying not to blame Eve for tempting Adam.

Today I am trying to think of what I can do and not of what I can't do.

Who am I kidding? Today I am wallowing and hoping that tomorrow will be better. But I know it won't be.

GNN Anonymous

2011-02-17T08:21:00.000-08:00

Good morning everyone. I would like to start off today's session.

My name is Callie and I am a Graphic Novel Nerd. It started out with just one. My husband said, " go ahead, just read it. It's fun." He gave me one that all of my favorite storybook characters from my childhood.

Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, Little Red Riding hood, the Big Bad wolf and even LIttle Boy Blue.

Peter Pan, Pinochio, all kinds of your childhood favorites but now in today's time in in despair. Boy Blue became my new favorite. He's my weakness. I go days, even weeks, and then boy blue does me in. The plots are more adult. Don't judge by the first book. It's probably the worst it the series. It only gets better.

Then my husband introduced me to a new one about a guy who can eat something and know exactly where all the ingredients came from, how they were grown, what was used to prepare them, everything. Oh The main character is also a cop. He uses his crazy skills to solve cases.

I have to admit that it gets gross sometimes. One drop of blood in his soup turns into him arresting the chef for rape and murder. Very entertaining.

Just when I think I'm done with Graphic Novels a new one comes along. My husband also introduced me to this one. It's more childish then the others. First part of getting better is admitting the truth right? You saw the Ironman movie and it totally rocked right? Well, the Avengers is all the good guys teaming up to save the world over and over again. It has Ironman, the Hulk,

Captain America, Thor and others. I got into this one because major motion pictures are being made about most of these characters and I thought it would be fun to know a little more about them. The movie about Thor is coming this summer. I think Captain America is next.

I've watched a few Avengers episodes on tv with my husband. I think I'll try to get him to come to the next GNN anonymous meeting with me. Thanks for listening my story. See you next time. Remember, the program works if you work the program.

Under the covers

2011-02-02T12:06:00.000-08:00

As you know, today is super chilly. Plus my husband is home sick. As a result, our entire little family was under this morning at 9 am. It was dreamy.

Even Simba our cat snuggled right up on Bryce.

I had to include our beautifulness as well.

One Lovely at a Time

2011-01-23T10:28:00.000-08:00

The other day I was feeling particularly sorry for myself. I thought what can I do to feel better? Then I stumbled upon this blog. And I thought it was a fantastic idea. I have always said that one thing that always makes me feel better is doing something for someone else. So I've decided to start the, One Lovely At A Time project and I'd like your help dear readers.

How it works- I will pick someone who is going through something particularly hard right now. Then I will send them something lovely.

I don't know about you but when I'm having a hard time, receiving a gift from someone and knowing that someone else is thinking of me always makes me feel better. So I am going to be the giver and the thinker now, to try and help someone else feel better.

The something Lovely - For this I thought of the things I can create. I can make beautiful jewelry and jewelry will probably be the most used lovely. I can also paint and create lots of crafts. So one of those may be the lovely that I send.

What I'd like from you - Nominations and generosity. If you know of someone who is going through a particularly hard time right now, I'd like to know about it. Email me ( callie.proffitt@gmail.com ) with their story and maybe they will be the next in line to receive a lovely. I'd also like you to help with the lovely's. You can either send me a sentiment or a happy message to include along with the lovely. Or send me something to help me create the lovely. IE- beads, or bead findings, or canvas or a craft of your very own that I can send as the lovely. Even if you could offer up a talent such as sewing, it would be greatly appreciated.

The first person and the first lovely - I have chosen this wonderful lady, http://myinfernaljournal.blogspot.com/2011/01/forever.html to be the first recipient of a lovely. She recently lost her little lady bug Ella back to her loving father in heaven. Please read her story.

I will be making a beautiful necklace with this lovely gem along with a lady bug charm. The front is a picture of the temple and the back says, " the best things in life are FOREVER". The perfect sentiment I think, for her situation.

I have not yet purchased a little lady bug charm so if you find one and would like to send it to me I would greatly appreciate it.

Once I have completed the necklace I will take a picture, to share with you dear readers and will send it to the lovely Amy. I would really like to do this once a month so please email me with people you know who could use a lovely. Also every lovely is better with sentiments from others so if you'd like to send a card to go along with the lovely, email me and I will give you my address.

With help form you, dear readers we may be able to share a lovely as often as once a week and help someone feel better. I'd love to be able to do that. If you'd like to send me some beads or offer your services to make a lovely please email me. If you do send or offer something you will of course be mentioned and services or other generosities will be pictured on my blog.

I will also send a card with every lovely with my own sentiments and love to the recipient. Hopefully I can include your sentiments and love with my own.

Please dear reader, help me make others feel better with One Lovely At A Time.

Callie.proffitt@gmail.com

Just so you know and for future reference

2011-01-11T21:29:00.000-08:00

This is the man I married.

Bryce Richard Christiansen

I married him on March 2, 2007 and it was the happiest day of my life. To date. I love him dearly and with all of my heart.

Even though he tells me he's right all the time and even though I want to rip his head off probably once a day, he is an amazing person and an amazing husband.

No matter how whiney I get he still loves me. Whether I'm whining about the cold or the heat or family or even him, he still loves me. Oh and he never points out the fact that I am whining. Never. He has also learned to think of me in my whiney times. Even though I am probably on his last nerve he tries to make it better.

He also puts up with my animals. No he not only puts up with them but he loves them because I love them.

He is goofy and he makes me laugh. A LOT. Plus the man can put up with anything, He could be surrounded by the most obnoxious people in the world and still find a way to have fun. Even the people annoy the hell out of me he always finds some way to try turn the situation into a positive experience.

He also deals with all my physical elements. This man married a woman who was fully functional, who could work a 10 hour work day and not even blink, and who could take on the world with pleasure. And now he has a wife who is sick on a constant basis for reasons that he has very little understanding of and yet he is compassionate and loving a comforting. And has never once considered leaving even though I hardly even resemble the woman he fell in love with.

He loves his family unconditionally and has a fierce loyalty to them. I can't wait to start a family of our own with this man. He is amazingly selfless when it comes to children and can somehow manage to get the most rambunctious little boy to sit still for hours. I've always wanted a little girl first but with this talent of his I am seriously considering a boy first.

Oh and he doesn't mind looking foolish for a good picture.

I think part of the reason he is so good with little boys is because he is a total comic book and video game nerd.The top shelve of the shelves in my family room is covered with action figures. I even love this part about him. Surprisingly I can't wait for him to pass on this love to our children. To tell our daughters about the damsels in distress and hero's that come to save them. And teach our little boy about morals and choosing the right with the unique characters from his comic books.

We recently mad a trip to San Francisco. It was a very hectic but enjoyable trip which would not have been possible without my husband. We did a hop on hop off tour of the city so I took my wheel chair. I have to admit I thought he would totally resent me for the fact that he'd have to push me around all day. Up hill and down hill. He also had to fold my wheel chair and carry it on and off the bus every we stopped at a new place on the tour. But there was never a whine, never a face of frustration and never a feeling of resentment. I took the time to thank him for being so good about it and his response was, "It makes it possible for you to be here with me and that makes it totally worth it,". Totally sweet and amazing huh?

Don't get me wrong, no marriage is perfect. And my husband can be a total douche bag sometimes. However, Bryce Richard Christiansen is a truly amazing and good person and husband. Sometimes I get mad and yell at him. I wish I did that less. It's something I'm working on. I love him and am deeply grateful for him. I don't tell him that often enough.

Honey if you read this, in those times that I am crazy and totally cranky, which is more often then not, please come back to these words and read them. So that you can remember what's in my heart rather then just sick cranky me. I am a lucky woman to have you and I will also come back to these words so that I can remember how lucky I am.

I love you!

Seems I have quite a few of the things that go along with POTS

2010-11-08T19:48:00.000-08:00

At least read the bottom paragraph if nothing else. I know posts with no pictures are boring.

Things that sometimes go along with POTS that I have,

OI-Orthostatic Intolerance. More info Here

Dysautonomia. More info Here

Vasovagal Syncope. More info Here

Orthostatic Hypotension. More info Here

And abnormal Cerebral Blood Flow (CBF). There are so many different ways to say that, that I decided not to send you to more information. You can look it up if you like. There's Cerebral hypoperfusion, Cerebral Hypofusion, Cerebral Perfusion. Plus more. So, too much confusing info if you ask me.

Sorry I haven't been posting often. I dropped my laptop and broke it. I have to use my moms. And hers doesn't have my pictures. I'm thinking of doing a giveaway for my 30,000th blog visitor. How would you like that? And what would you like the giveaway item to be?

I have a confirmed diagnosis!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-10-25T12:58:00.000-07:00

That's right people, it took me 2 years but they/I have finally figured out whats wrong with me. I say I because it was I who took the idea of this diagnosis to my doctor.

I have POTS. Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia syndrome. It is also known as Cronic Orthostatic Intolerance, Orthostatic tachycardia, Sympathotonic Orthostatic hypotension, Hyperdynamic beta adrenergic state, Idiopathic hypovolemia, Mitral valve prolapse syndrome, neurocirculatory asthenia, Irritable heart, soldiers heart and effort syndrome.

Symptoms are usually due to cerebral hypoperfusion. It is an autonomic nervous system disorder. The disorder is really complicated to explain because it affects so much and does so much and has such a short name. Your autonomic nerve system conrols blood and the parts of your body that control your blood. Likek blood vessels and such.

Venous function is not good. When I stand istead of my blood going where it needs to go just pools in certain parts of my body. This causes my heart rate to increase severely and also means all parts of my body do not generally get the blood supply they need. I use 3 times the energy to do anything then any healthy person. Standing to a healthy person is like jogging to a POTS patient.

Interventions that sucessfully attenuate the tachycardia do not usually bring symptomatic relief. So they can some what control this disorder but generally only the disorder and not it's symptoms.

To test for this disorder diffinitively they have to do a tilt table test. I had mine this morning, They put you on an automatic table that goes from the laying position to the standing position. They strap you in just in case you faint. If you have pots then when they put you upright your heart rate will increase by 30 beats per minute or over 120 beats per minute. They monitor you the whole time. The test is supposed to be 30 minutes because for some people it doesn't rise for about 20 minutes. In my test my heart rate went from 83 to 132 almost immediately. And they didn't even put me at the full 90 degrees, only to 70 degrees. My heart rate then went on to get as high as 186 beats per minute. If you know nothing about heart rate most people's exercise heart reate gets to about 120 and when yours reaches the 180's they generally like you to go to the ER. My get that high from just the simple act of standing up. They stopped my test after about 15 minutes because they didn't think my body or my heart could handle the whole 30. It was a nightmare. I mean I knew it would be bad but it was a nightmare. I cried like a baby. Afterward the nurse said if her heart rate and body did what mine did, she'd have cried too. That made me feel a little better. The doctor prescribed a beta blocker right there on the spot which will help make sure my heart doesn't go that fast and work so hard and hopefully regulate my autonomic nervous system better. As for the symptoms there is not much to do. I am to avoid triggers and change a few habits. Unfortunately the 2 biggest triggers are heat and stand for long periods of time and unfortunately I live in Arizona and I stand all day doing hair for work.

So, my test was horrible and the last 2 years was horrible and I always felt crazy cause no one could tell me what was wrong with me. But now I have a diagnosis and I am not crazy and there is definately something very wrong with my body. Most POTS patients take 5 years to get a diagnosis and I am happy that I only took 2 and a half years.

So I am not lazy, my body just uses 3 times the energy and that makes me tired. Any position other then sitting or laying down is difficult on my body. So there, stupid doctors and ignorant people who thought I was faking to get out of stuff or just lazy. I have POTS and it's a serious disorder. I'm thrilled. It's sad but very comforting.

I Am Ashamed

2010-10-12T00:28:00.000-07:00

I totally understand if you'd like to ignore me. My husband didn't even want to listen to me.

I am sometimes ashamed to call myself mormon. I am ashamed to say that I am sometimes ashamed to call myself a mormon. Most of the time when a client asks if I am mormon I say, "Yes, but I am not like most mormons. I do not feel this way because of the gospel in which I believe. Nor do I feel this way because I am ashamed of believing in Christ or what he stands for as our savior. I am ashamed because I am always or at least generally thought of as a we, in corralation with a lot of imperfect human beings out there who also call themsleves mormon, instead of an I. No, I am not perfect, or anywhere near perfect but I do have my own thoughts and my own beliefs. And I am proud of them but I may not be proud of yours. So, please, unless you are a general authority, do not ever start, end or ever make a statement of your thoughts or beliefs using the word 'we' as apposed to 'I'. I do not appreciate it.

The 2010 October general conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints just took place. I remember hearing one speach in particular and thinking, that makes me proud to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and now just days later I am once again ashamed to be in corralation with other memeber of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The talk of which I am happy to in corralation with is at the end of this post.

I remember hearing this talk and thinking of all the young people out there experiencing the temptation of sex before marriage. The young people who weakly succomb to that temptation and are then unable to have the joy and experience of serving a mission. I thought of the children of those young people who succomb to the very natural urge of sex before marriage who may experience the emotions of being adopted. I thought of the emotions of those young persons who have succomb to the temptation of sex before marriage and then having to deal with giving up a child. I also know the pain that my family has experienced due to a family member succombing to worldly temtation of sex before marriege. My familie's pain of having a family member who has only seen his family once or twice because his father had sex before marriage. I also remember being grateful for one of my brothers who is such a huge example to me of what the atonement can do for a person when used. I remember being grateful to him for having that strength to go through the repentance process and bringing an amazing woman into our family along with their wonderful children. I remember being grateful to him for having a level of strength that I am not sure I myself have and know that I myself avoided similar pain due to his example. I should have thanked him for that. For suffering so that I would have the opportunity of suffering less.

I heard this talk and remember thinking of all those families plagued with sex or pornography addictions and the pain they are experiencing and the pain that myself and my family experienced. I thought of the marriages and famililies torn apart by such worldly temptations. I remembered hearing the excuse, "I'm addicted it's no longer my choice", and being to so grateful for knowing with every fiber of my being that that statement is false and only something Satan so desperately wants you to believe. I thought of those marriages that have even suffered adultry and an unfaithful spouse and somehow managed to hang on to knowledge that they could be happy again. I remember be soooo eternally grateful for the knowledge that a man, who was so overcome with addiction that he once chose a computer over his youngest daughter, could once again become my loving, faithful father. I also remember hearing this talk and being so grateful and proud that because of the atonement and repentence my father and any other human being who take advantage of the atonement will eternally reside with my father in heaven.

I remember hearig this talk and not being offended by, depressed by or hurt by the fact that I am infertal and do not posess the power to create life hear on this earth, married or not, but with still have the opportunity to raise life and the quality of life of others thanks to the gospel and the knowlede of the gospel.

I remember hearing this talk and being proud to know that right thing is to love above all else. I remembered that I do not know even one tenth of what the eternities hold and being soooooo grateful that I myself am not the one figuring everything out and doling out the judgement. I remembered being grateful for a general authority who would come out and speak about eternal hope and love with the absence of judgement thanks to the atonement. I remember hearing this talk and being grateful that I am blessed with the ability to hear the wise words of another and think of ways in which I can better myself as apposed to thinking and hearing how others should better themselves instead. I am proud to have a general authority who would come out and address in such a wide spectrum, the benefits and testimony of the atonement.

Today I am ashamed that others of my faith heard this talk and chose to change the words to serve their own purpose. Today I am ashamed that other members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints have chosen to concentrate on how others choose to live their lives as apposed to how they live their own. Today I am ashamed to share a label with those who openly judge others and place blame on others and yet call themselves followers of Jesus Christ.

My sister once said something extremely smart and that I quote regularly. She said, "I do not think about or dwell on what goes on in other people's bedrooms so why must they dwell on what I do in my bedroom?" I myself choose to concentrate on how a person conducts him or herself on a daily basis. When I ask for help to they help or disappear? When I am crying do they wipe away the tears or walk away sick and tired of my puffy eyes? Do they defend me to those who know nothing about me or do they talk about me behind my back when I can't hear them? Do they judge me when I fall down on my fat ass or do they stretch out their hand to help me off the ground?

I was proud when I heard Boyd K. Packers talk this conference. I was proud to hear him speak of the family and the healing power of the atonement.

Today my pride has turned to shame and frustration. Frustration that some people feel the need to take something so wonderful and beautiful and taint it with their own agenda.

I would like to point out that those who believe in polygamy could take this talk and use it to benefit their cause in so many ways. Men and Women, around the world, who are infertal by now fault of their own, could have taken offence to the parts about the CREATION of life and the power to CREATE life being an essential part of the plan. Those who have had a child out of wedlock, premarital sex, experienced first hand the power of any addiction could have chosen to focus on sin and condemn themselves to the will of satan amd misery as apposed to hearing about the power of the atonement. Any weak human being can take the words of another and twist them to hurt or offend others. It takes strength and humility to find and concentrate on the words and wisdom of others ,who have experienced so much more then they, and better themselves with the knowlege and wisdom so generously shared by another.

I choose to try to stay stong and humble and apposed to weak and judgemental. I sure hope you will choose the same.

Please feel free to comment on my thoughts. Good or bad.

Here is Boyd K. Packer's actual talk.

Nowhere are the generosity and the kindness and mercy of God more manifest than in repentance.

This general conference was convened at a time when there is such confusion and such danger that our young people hardly know which way they can walk. Having been warned through the revelations that it would be this way, the prophets and apostles have always been shown what to do.

The Lord revealed to the Prophet Joseph Smith “that every man might speak in the name of God the Lord, even the Savior of the world.”1 When the keys were restored, they provided priesthood authority to be present in every home through the grandfathers, the fathers, and the sons.

Fifteen years ago, with the world in turmoil, the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles issued “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” the fifth proclamation in the history of the Church. It is a guide that members of the Church would do well to read and to follow.

It states in part: “We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”2

“The Gods went down to organize man in their own image, in the image of the Gods to form they him, male and female to form they them.

“And the Gods said: We will bless them. And . . . we will cause them to be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it.”3

This commandment has never been rescinded.

“And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.”4

It is intended that we be happy, for “men are, that they might have joy.”5

Lehi taught that men are free and must be “free . . . to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day.”6

The old saying “The Lord is voting for me, and Lucifer is voting against me, but it is my vote that counts” describes a doctrinal certainty that our agency is more powerful than the adversary’s will. Agency is precious. We can foolishly, blindly give it away, but it cannot be forcibly taken from us.
There is also an age-old excuse: “The devil made me do it.” Not so! He can deceive you and mislead you, but he does not have the power to force you or anyone else to transgress or to keep you in transgression.

To be entrusted with the power to create life carries with it the greatest of joys and dangerous temptations. The gift of mortal life and the capacity to kindle other lives is a supernal blessing. Through the righteous exercise of this power, as in nothing else, we may come close to our Father in Heaven and experience a fulness of joy. This power is not an incidental part of the plan of happiness. It is the key—the very key.

Whether we use this power as the eternal laws require or reject its divine purpose will forever determine what we will become. “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?”7

There is something very liberating when an individual determines of his or her own free will to be obedient to our Father and our God and expresses that willingness to Him in prayer.

When we obey, we can enjoy these powers in the covenant of marriage. From our fountains of life will spring our children, our family. Love between husband and wife can be constant and bring fulfillment and contentment all the days of our lives.

If one is denied these blessings in mortality, the promise is that they will be provided for in the world to come.

Pure love presupposes that only after a pledge of eternal fidelity, a legal and a lawful ceremony, and ideally after the sealing ordinance in the temple, are those life-giving powers released for the full expression of love. It is to be shared only and solely between man and woman, husband and wife, with that one who is our companion forever. On this the gospel is very plain.

We are free to ignore the commandments, but when the revelations speak in such blunt terms, such as “thou shalt not,” we had better pay attention.

The adversary is jealous toward all who have power to beget life. Satan cannot beget life; he is impotent. “He seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.”8 He seeks to degrade the righteous use of the life-giving powers by tempting you into immoral relationships.

The Lord used the expression “is like unto” to create an image His followers could understand, such as:

“The kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man.”9

“The kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field.”10

In our day the dreadful influence of pornography is like unto a plague sweeping across the world, infecting one here and one there, relentlessly trying to invade every home, most frequently through the husband and father. The effect of this plague can be, unfortunately often is, spiritually fatal. Lucifer seeks to disrupt “the great plan of redemption,”11 “the great plan of happiness.”12

Pornography will always repel the Spirit of Christ and will interrupt the communications between our Heavenly Father and His children and disrupt the tender relationship between husband and wife.

The priesthood holds consummate power. It can protect you from the plague of pornography—and it is a plague—if you are succumbing to its influence. If one is obedient, the priesthood can show how to break a habit and even erase an addiction. Holders of the priesthood have that authority and should employ it to combat evil influences.

We raise an alarm and warn members of the Church to wake up and understand what is going on. Parents, be alert, ever watchful that this wickedness might threaten your family circle.

We teach a standard of moral conduct that will protect us from Satan’s many substitutes or counterfeits for marriage. We must understand that any persuasion to enter into any relationship that is not in harmony with the principles of the gospel must be wrong. From the Book of Mormon we learn that “wickedness never was happiness.”13

Some suppose that they were preset and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn temptations toward the impure and unnatural. Not so! Remember, God is our Heavenly Father.

Paul promised that “God . . . will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”14 You can, if you will, break the habits and conquer an addiction and come away from that which is not worthy of any member of the Church. As Alma cautioned, we must “watch and pray continually.”15

Isaiah warned, “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!”16

Years ago I visited a school in Albuquerque. The teacher told me about a youngster who brought a kitten to class. As you can imagine, that disrupted everything. She had him hold the kitten up in front of the children.

It went well until one of the children asked, “Is it a boy kitty or a girl kitty?”

Not wanting to get into that lesson, the teacher said, “It doesn’t matter. It’s just a kitty.”
But they persisted. Finally, one boy raised his hand and said, “I know how you can tell.”

Resigned to face it, the teacher said, “How can you tell?”

And the student answered, “You can vote on it!”

You may laugh at this story, but if we are not alert, there are those today who not only tolerate but advocate voting to change laws that would legalize immorality, as if a vote would somehow alter the designs of God’s laws and nature. A law against nature would be impossible to enforce. For instance, what good would a vote against the law of gravity do?

There are both moral and physical laws “irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world” that cannot be changed.17 History demonstrates over and over again that moral standards cannot be changed by battle and cannot be changed by ballot. To legalize that which is basically wrong or evil will not prevent the pain and penalties that will follow as surely as night follows day.

Regardless of the opposition, we are determined to stay on course. We will hold to the principles and laws and ordinances of the gospel. If they are misunderstood either innocently or willfully, so be it. We cannot change; we will not change the moral standard. We quickly lose our way when we disobey the laws of God. If we do not protect and foster the family, civilization and our liberties must needs perish.

“I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.”18

Every soul confined in a prison of sin, guilt, or perversion has a key to the gate. The key is labeled “repentance.” If you know how to use this key, the adversary cannot hold you. The twin principles of repentance and forgiveness exceed in strength the awesome power of the tempter. If you are bound by a habit or an addiction that is unworthy, you must stop conduct that is harmful. Angels will coach you,19 and priesthood leaders will guide you through those difficult times.

Nowhere are the generosity and the kindness and mercy of God more manifest than in repentance. Do you understand the consummate cleansing power of the Atonement made by the Son of God, our Savior, our Redeemer? He said, “I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent.”20 In that supernal act of love, the Savior paid the penalties for our sins so that we might not have to pay.

For those who truly desire it, there is a way back. Repentance is like unto a detergent. Even ground-in stains of sin will come out.

Priesthood holders carry with them the antidote to remove the terrible images of pornography and to wash away guilt. The priesthood has the power to unlock the influence of our habits, even to unchain from addiction, however tight the grip. It can heal over the scars of past mistakes.

I know of no more beautiful and consoling words in all of revelation than these: “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.”21

Sometimes, even after confession and paying penalties, the most difficult part of repentance is to forgive one’s self. You must come to know that forgiveness means forgiveness.
“As often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me.”22

President Joseph Fielding Smith told me of a repentant woman struggling to find her way out of a very immoral life. She asked him what she should do now.

In turn, he asked her to read to him from the Old Testament the account of Lot’s wife, who was turned to a pillar of salt.23 Then he asked her, “What lesson do you gain from those verses?”

She answered, “The Lord will destroy the wicked.”

“Not so!” President Smith said that the lesson for this repentant woman and for you is “Don’t look back!”24

Strangely enough, it may be that the simplest and most powerful prevention and cure for pornography, or any unclean act, is to ignore and avoid it. Delete from the mind any unworthy thought that tries to take root. Once you have decided to remain clean, you are asserting your God-given agency. And then, as President Smith counseled, “Don’t look back.”

I promise that ahead of you is peace and happiness for you and your family. The ultimate end of all activity in the Church is that a man and his wife and their children can be happy at home. And I invoke the blessings of the Lord upon you who are struggling against this terrible plague, to find the healing that is available to us in the priesthood of the Lord. I bear witness of that power in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Quick and easy but Delicious dinners.

2010-09-22T11:34:00.000-07:00

Frist we have

Instant oatmeal cream pancakes:

1 pouch of instant oatmeal- your choice of flavor

1Cup of milk

1 lg egg

2 tsp. baking powder

1/2 Tbs. sugar

1Cup of flour

4 Tbs. melted butter

Pinch of salt.

Makes about 14 pancakes

Yes, we eat pancakes for dinner. These were particularly delicious. Even my husband thought so.

Directions: Empty pouch of instant oatmeal in bowl(I used wild blueberry muffin flavor) And add 1 cup of milk. Let sit for about 15 minutes or until oatmeal is soft. Add the Rest of the ingredients and make pancakes like any other pancakes. I added about 1 more Tbs of milk to thin out the batter a little.

These pancakes are super moist and fluffy and delicious. I couldn't tell a difference in texture from the oatmeal but my husband said he could in a good way. And with all the flavors of instant oatmeal there are so many possibilities. Yes I thought of this idea myself. Try them out and tell me how it goes for you.

Then we have

Sweet and sour Chicken.

1 chicken breast cut into bite size pieces.

2T extra virgin olive oil

1 sliced bell pepper

About 1/2 Cup thinly sliced onion

(I used a fajita vegatable package from Fresh and Easy which contains red, yellow and green bell peppers and onions. I used about half the container)

1-8 ounce can of pinnapple

1/2 pineapple juice from can of pineapple

3/4 Cup of your favorite sweet and sour sauce. ( I bought a bottle at Fresh and easy that was hawaiian style and it was delicious)

1 tsp red pepper flakes.

makes 2 servings.

I breaded and fried my chicken pieces and the whole thing took less than an hour to make. If you don't bread and fry your chicken I think it would take less then half an hour.

To bread your chicken dip in whisked egg and dip into flour. I double dipped my pieces. Then fry in pan on stove over medium heat with Extra virgin olive oil. I remove my chicken and put them into a mesh basket to drain and stay crispy.

In pan on stove brown chicken until cooked through with the 2 Tbsp Extra virgin olive oil. Add pineapple juice and vegatables, cook until veggies are tender crisp. About 3 minutes. Then add pineapple chuncks, sweet and sour sauce and red pepper flakes. Can change the amount red pepper flakes depending on how much heat you like. 1tsp is a subtle heat. Heat through for another 2 minutes or so and serve with rice.

My husband is a huge chinese food fan and he loved this sweet and sour chicken. It was a success.

I will be posting more of these kinds of posts as I try new dishes. My hunsband said: "what made you decide to start making dinner all of a sudden?"
My response is, I am going to be raising a family, hopefully in the near future and I have decided to try new recipes that are easy, delicious, don't take more then an hour to prepare and are fairly healthy. Oh and don't leave too many dishes to be washed. And I have decide to share with you, my wonderful but non commenting blog readers. Don't worry, I love you even though you don't answer my questions sometimes.

Try these new recipe's with your family. I promise they won't disapoint.

Painting project. Sometimes I'm artisitc.

2010-09-15T22:29:00.000-07:00

So, I've been swooning over becoming a mother for about a year now. I have her name picked out and I have the colors of her nursery picked out. Crazy right? I know. But I like to dream. I also pick up little things here and there that I want to decorate my nursery with. I had an idea to do my own art work too. So I sketched a couple things and produced the first painting. Then I entered reality and decided to put my art work up for grabs. I am highly likely never going to be a mother. I don't want to talk about it. Thank you.

Anyways, I picked my colors when I found this awesome frame. I picked up 2 at Hobby Lobby. Teal, pink and yellow. So the painting follow those colors but would go with many others.

I can't tell you how much I adore my little painting. I didn't want cookie cutter stuff and this is what I came up with.

I was going to do a triplicate of different pictures but the same style but instead it's just going to be a twin set. Ferternal twins. The second canvas is an owl. So cute owl.

I've just starting painting it and will probably have it done by tomorrow. I'll post pictures when I'm done.

So, do you like what you see? Would you buy it? If so how much would you pay for it. I have decided to offer my painting services to you wonderful peaple and any of your friends and family. These being the first up for grabs. I'm going to ask $25 a piece for now and go from there. . These first two are 21x16. If the size is smaller, so is the price. If you'd like your own unique art work for your toddler, tween or infant's bedroom send me an email and I would be happy to discuss an arrangement with you. They would make fantastic shower gifts and no one else in the world would own anything like it.
My email is Callie.proffitt@gmail.com.

When my bod hurts, when I'm puking, when I'm feeling bad.....My favorite things.

2010-09-12T17:35:00.000-07:00

My husband. Even when he's playing a dumb computer game all day.

Baking yummy goodies.

My snuggly puppies and my pillow. Yes my pillow is like a child's blakie and no, I am not ashamed.

And making people happy by making beautiful jewelry.

Oh, how I want a baby!

2010-09-07T22:51:00.000-07:00

       My baby, or lack there of, woes. Feel free to skip this post.

    I want a baby! I was never really sure I'd have that feeling. See, I've been an aunt since I was 8. Changing diapers, singing babies to sleep, being the fun aunt and so on and so forth. I now have 38 neices and nephews. I seem to alway be rocking gently rather then just being still. I think its from rocking so many babies. I also found out at the age of 18 that I cannot have children. I have a .02% of conceiving and then if conception happend, a .002% of keeping the baby and myself alive. That fact has never been hard for me. Until now, that is. I want brown babies. I've always wanted brown babies. So having to adopt always felt natural for me. I also have no desire, whatsoever, to pass on my particular genetics. Never have and never will. My desire to have a child started about a year and a half ago at 24 years old. I was shocked really. But I really really really want a baby.
        I had no idea how hard it would be. 3 of my coworkers are pregnant right now and that doesn't make it any easier. I also have 2 siblings who willbe trying to get pregnant in the very near future and I really want to be in on this baby round. I want my children to have cousins their age that they can go to school with and hang with at family functions just like all my other neices and nephews. The adoption process is awful and totally diheartening. It is not anywhere near like just going off birth control. And if you think morning sickness is just as bad as the process then remember, I'm pretty sure I've experienced enough sickness for 20 human beings in my lifetime. So, no I am not taking for granted the fact that with the adoption process I don't have to go through the pains of pregnancy. Do you take for granted the fact that you can use a good portion of you body's orgons while others can't? Especially the most womanly organs. The most endearing organs. If not, I don't blame you. I don't wish the feeling on anyone.
        I feel like I have no future. No ability to progress as a woman. In the state of AZ they do not sever parental rights for 15 to 18 months. So I could get a brand new baby and for 2 years there's a possibility someone could come take it from me. Or I can pay a riculous amount of money to buy myself a baby. I can't handle either of these options. And I don't see myself being able to handle these things anytime in the near, (5 years), future. It's heartbreaking. I don't think I could emotionally handle the idea of knowing that at any moment someone could come take my baby away from me. I also do not have $10,000 to $30,000 just sitting around. I would have to take out a loan. Which is an impossible probability if you know my husband at all. You see what I mean about feeling hopeless in this situation?
            I want a baby. I am 26 years old and have been married 3 years. Do you have any idea what it's like when you can't have children and then people around you, with your same beliefs, start asking why you don't have children yet? I do. It's a slap in the face. I don't blame people though. I am not the norm. Never have been the norm. Can't expect a changed behavior for just one abnormal person.
        I feel like I'm at a stand still. Like life is going but not progressing. It's an awful feeling. I want a baby. It's heartbreaking wanting something so bad and knowing it's not just beyond your reach but galaxy's away from you reach. I want to smell sweet baby smell every morning. I want to change dirty diapers. I want something to hold in my arms while I rock. I want soothe my baby to sleep witth a song. I want to wake up in the middle of the night to feed and burp and care for a tiny little human being. I want to be able to introduce her to my family and all of her little cousins who will adore her and love her. I want my husband to be able to give his first baby blessing. I want to make burp clothes and baby quilts and decorate a nursery. It's just soooo far out of reach, It's ridiculous. I dream of my baby and can see her sleeping face. It's cruel to wake up. If my computer could be stained by tears it would be unrecognizable.

Oh, how I want a baby. Sorry for rambling. It was more for me then it was for you.

California 2010-Oh yeah, I got hit by a car

2010-08-08T23:39:00.000-07:00

No my car did not get hit by car, I got hit by a car. So, I'm in the Walmart parking lot just minding my own business and walking to my car when a huge red truck backs into me. Hard. See no one was parked next to him so he gunned it. My hip and my shoulder felt it the most.

These pictures are about a week and a half later. I need to upload the ones from my phone.

My hip. Although darker, hurt less than my shoulder. But it probably had a bigger knot. No, I did not get his information or his license plate number. Honestly, my first thought was, "at least it wasn't the car". I was driving my sister's car. Plus, he was mexican.

My shoulder. Totally faded. The blank spot is where he acually hit my arm. The bruising spread all around it. When I got back to the campsite I felt bad for running late. Then I said, "I go hit by a car", and my mom didn't hold it against me. I said, " it doesn't look too bad" and my mom said,

"just you wait, I think it's going to bruise all the way down your arm". Something about blood and gravity I think.

It almost made it to my elbow joint. This is toally faded. Like I said, a week and a half later. I'll post other pictures.

Anyone want to have a worst luck contest?

No.

That's probably a good idea, cause I would totally whoop you all.

My wedding dress

2010-08-08T11:55:00.000-07:00

So my sister went through her cclsoets and found her wedding dress so she put it on and took pictures and sent them to the family. She told the rest of us to put ours on and take pictures and share them so I did. Then I thought I'd share with you.

I think my sister is more impressive cause she had children and I haven't and never will. However. My rib cage is the biggest part of me and my dress was fitted to my ribs. Therefore, I'll probably always be able to put it on.

I still love my dress. Love love love it. Maybe one of my neices will want to wear it one day.

Beach 2010

2010-07-29T21:41:00.000-07:00

So, this family vacation started way before I was born. My mom used to pack up all 11 of us and take us to Carlsbad state park and camp for 3 weeks. Yes, 3 weeks. My dad would join us for the last week. My parents grew up in California and love the beach and the same love was born in to the rest of us. Well, most of us. My oldest brother got married and brought his wife along. Then my oldest sister got married and brought her husband along and so on and so forth. Now about 50 of us plan a week long trip to California every year. We outgrew Carlsbad state beach and we only go for one week instead of 3. This year as I watched my neices and nephews body surf and sit out by the fire and play games I wondered if they will continue the tradition and bring their spouses and children. Technically we could get like 10-15 camp sites in the area we go to now as long as the KOA sticks around. We'll just have to see.

This is our youngest baby right now. Cassie's youngest girl, Laney. She LOVED the ocean.

Even in freezing cold, body numbing water, this girl was in the water and loving it.

I'm sure Cassie's feet went numb several times. She's get knocked over and head right back in with Cassie chasing after her.

She'd get so excited and flap her little hands in an excited dance. So cute. I have a video but I can't figure out how to upload it.

Isn't she so cute?! A bit cranky at times but super cute. She liked my flip flops.

The teen girls. I got Danica to look at me by aiming the camera and then calling her name. Smart right?

Ike, happy to be at the beach. Yes, blankies make it to the beach as well. There's still nap time you know.

Brianne with Ryker. (sp?) He was a bit sick and cranky too sometimes but so sweet. I got to hold him one day for like 3 hours and he just snuggled. I think it was a day he didn't feel well. I knew the feeling and I think we bonded over our misery.

Jannalee with Laney in the water. Giving Cassie a break from freezing feet.

So, I'm reading a book and my mom is sitting next to me and says, "is that us", while pointing out to the ocean. Normally 'us' is my brother in laws and sisters. But I looked around and noticed they were all still on the beach. Turns out the 'us' was my nieces and nephews. Check them out. They're the little huddle of tiny black dots in the distance.

Next generation body surfers right there. Last year I saw the 12 year olds out there in the very deep water of the ocean and thought, "man, what are we thinking letting them out that far". Then I reminded myself that I've been going out that far since I was around six. My dad or a brother in law would hold me on my belly as a wave was coming and would yell, "kick kick kick kick" and that was how I learned to body surf.

And now the next generation is out there doing the same thing. I treaded water back then and I tread water now. I'm 5'2" and rarely reach the ocean floor. Beyond the break is one of my favorite places to be. Most comfortable and secure places and I am so glad that feeling and love has been passed to the next generation and I hope it continues on into the next generation.

The yearly California trip is probably my favorite thing ever. Oh, and we just sit on the beach all day. None of the, we have to be here and then we have to be there and make sure your here at this time, kind of things. We pack up lunches, cabanas, beach blankets, towels, chairs and kids and sit on the beach for about 6 hours. We read books and watch kids and snack and watch the new babies learn all the new joys that are the beach. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to pass the love onto to my own offspring.

Strawberries and cream muffin tops

2010-07-05T11:11:00.000-07:00

So, how many of you get a nice scrumptiously delicious muffin and only eat the top with the crumbly part? I don't. I actually enjoy the whole muffin. In fact I generally prefer the bottom part. I tend to not be the norm however. My husband especially just loves the top with crumbly stuff on top. Therefore I have been toying with the idea of Muffin Tops. That's right. Just the top part WITH the crumbly deliciousness. I am happy to say I have now PERFECTED my idea. Including the yummy crumbly deliciousness. It is my pleasure to introduce to you the Strawberries and cream Muffin tops. Ta Da!

Like I said, even the crumbly top.

It took me 3 tries to perfect this idea. First there were, blueberry white chocolate muffin tops. They were good but too big and too sweet for my taste. The consensus from my salon, however, was that they were delicious. Even the pregnant coworker who didn't like much of anything liked them. I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist though. Then I tried banana chocolate chip muffin top. That one failed miserably, but I am determined to try that one again. And then strawberries went on sale and I thought it was time to try again. I have to say that these are absolutely fabulous and sooooo scrumptious. I used strawberries but you could pretty much use any fruit.

Strawberries and Cream Muffin Tops
1/2 Cup softened Cream Cheese
6 Tablespoons of butter
2 eggs
whisk these 3 ingredients together until creamy
2 1/4 Cup flour
1 Cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoon of Baking Powder
1 Teaspoon of Baking Soda
1 1/2 Cup chopped strawberries/blueberries/raspberries/blackberries/mix of all.
mix together thouroughly in a large bowl. Then add creamed ingredients and fold together. Add just enough milk to make all ingredients moist. Your dough will be lumpy. This is a good thing. Do not over mix.
1/8 Cup to 1/4 cup milk or evaporated milk.
CRUMBLY TOP-(I don't know how I feel about sharing this secret)
2/3 Cup white chocolate chips
2 Tablespoons butter
Melt. Start with 30 sec then stir. If not smooth heat for an additional 10 sec at a time. If it start to get grainy to not heat anymore just add flour.
3/4 cups of flour.
cut flour into butter and chocolate with knifes until crumbly.

drop muffin batter onto greased cookie sheet in 1/8 cup or 2 Tablesoon lumps. Kind of like cookies but a little bigger. Top with good amount of crumble. Bake at 350 for 15 min.

Vintage Pearl giveaway. Hurry only 2 hours left.

2010-06-27T21:29:00.000-07:00

There is a Vintage pear givaway on this blog that I love and adore HERE

To see more of this amazingly beautiful jewellery check it out here at Vintage Pearl

You missed me right!? If you didn't just lie and tell me you did.

2010-06-19T10:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time, I know. I'd tell you why but I'm no longer going to blog about my health. If you have an opinion on that feel free to tell me.

I have a lot to blog about but I have to pull from the pictures that are already on my laptop because my camera's battery is charging so I have to wait to upload other pictures. So here is the first of many posts in the next few days.

We shaved Donut. She was becoming increasingly matted and I didn't want to pay a groomer to pay her but my first attempt at removing her hair did not go so well. Then I had an epiphany. Let's drug her. Genious right? I know. So I called my vet.

Me: Hi, I was wondering if I could come pick up some sedatives so I can shave my cat.

Vet Tech: Ummm... I don't think we can just give you sedatives to groom your cat.

Me: Will you ask the vet anyways. I know you give sedative for when animals fly and I've been seeing your vet for like 7 years now. Just ask him.

VT: Okay, but don't get your hopes up.

Me:Thanks

VT: Okay, the vet says you can come pick them up in about an hour.

Me: Sweet!

So, I pick up the sedatives and the lady tells me to test them on my cat first because for about 1 out of every 100 the sedative has the oposite affect. So I crushed the pill put it in some milk, sucked it into medicine giver thingy and gave it to Donut. Seriously wish I had video taped her because she was hiliarious drugged.

Her furr looks like a whole nother cat. So you know that inner eyelid that cats have?, well when donut is drugged it closes like halfway and she looks cross eyed. She also can't walk. Her feet criss cross. It's crazy funny.

Drugged, it seemed like she almost enjoyed being shaved. Zoom in on this picture and check out her eyes.

She loved having half the furr. She'd sprall out on her newly bare belly on the cold floor. You know me and Bargains. Well, I have to tell you that this cost us a grand total of $7. And I got 4 sedatives. So technically $7 for 4 grooms. That's crazy cheap and so worth it.

Unfortunately and sadly,(mostly sad for Bryce),(I'm not heartless, I just don't like getting animals in my bedroom and cat piss in my house), our Donut has gone missing. She is an inside and outside cat. She has a collar and we haven't seen her for about a week now. Bryce love love loves Donut. She's the greatest cat he's ever had. His words. So, this is goodbye to Donut. I hope some family decided she was super awesome and decided to steal her from us. That's what I tell myself. Check back for more posts.

Birthday and toes.

2010-04-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

So it was my 26th birthday on April 18th. It was a good birthday. First my husband took me to his parents house on Saturday where I was met by birthday decorations and friends. We opened a few gifts and played some games and ate some yummy strawberry cake.

Cake made by Katie. It was very yummy!

We played Quelf. If you've never played Quelf, you must. But you must play with a fun group of friends and you all must be willing to look and sound a bit silly.

Kristen had to mummy wrap her head or pay the penalty. She totally passed the Quelf test.

Then we had to be siamese twins.

Then we had to play pattycake with Kevin as siamese twins. All in a good game of Quelf.

I also got a sweet new quilted throw from Coldwater Creek, a new DVD and Kevin got me the Buffy the Vampire Slayer graphic novel book 1. Which I then proceeded to read along with the first 6 volumes in 3 days. I'm kind of a Buffy buff. The graphic novels just carry on from the Series finale.

Then I got my big gift from my mom, which was my Baby book. Here are just a few things from that priceless gem.

My birth cerificate says Susan. My parents named me Susan not Caroline/Callie. Then when my mom realized how different Cassie and I were she decided to give us twin names. I knew this but a piece I just learned is that they didn't change my name until my baby blessing. That's a long time.

The 4 inch height difference between Cassie and I has been there since birth.

But as seen here, it's all in her legs.

I've always closed my left eye the second I step outside.

I was super blond and my hair still is naturally blond. It's ashier and uglier though.

My first solo and my first State Queen title. Dance solo. Funny thing about this picture is that that hair is not mine. Someone walked behind me in this picture and it looks like I have long hair.

I broke my leg. Spiral broke my shin bone to be exact.

I'm in different clothes in this picture because the break was so bad they couldn't cast it. Everything had to settle first. They sent me home for 3 days 2 nights I think. It was a nightmare. I slept on my parent floor so my mom could give me pain killers and I wanted to be there. It was awful. Then I went back, they numbed my leg, moved things around and then cast it. It was bright pink. It was still a nightmare. They wanted me to put weight on it right away and I cried and cried everytime I tried. My mom set me up on the hide-a-bed in the room by the kitchen for like a week. I ate avacado toast to my hearts desire.

Cast from toe to leg joint and I still did the splits. Dance rehearsals eventually too. Oh did I mention I broke my leg by walking down the stairs on roller blades? I really should make up a better story.

When I was 12 I got bit by a dog. His teeth his bone. Doctors in the E.R told me that if it were a person bite they'd have to amputate my leg. This was after it was stitched up. It looked worse then it was. You should have heard the comments and seen the looks from people in the E.R. 12 Year old girl with 3 gaping holes in her leg, bone easily seen and they made me wait for like 3 hours. My mom bought me cheese its from the snack machine.

And I did my toes this weekend. New asymetricle argyle. I like it.

Sweet Dreams.

2010-04-15T15:34:00.000-07:00

Babies. I have been dreaming of my baby. No, I am not pregnant, remember it's impossible. I am alo not in the process of getting a baby. You know, adoption or foster care. But sometimes I dream of my first baby. Well I think she is my first baby. This dream was very very pleasant. It was also very life like. My sister Joy took my tiny sweet baby girl from me and said, " well, she doesn't look Proffitt or Christiansen but she's just as cute!". And Rebecca, started going through the super cute new baby girl stuff I had brought with me. She was a very small baby. We had gotten her 6 days after she was born. She had been born 4 weeks early so they kept her a little longer. She was dark skinned. I don't know what exactly but a mix of nationalities. Beautiful color and about 5 pounds 8 ounces. It's the same baby every time I dream. Well, this time I did not want to wake up and I even dreamed about her again the next night. The next day I hit Orange patch and they had pastel letters to hang up in a nursery on major sale. Normally they were $8.99 and they were on sale for $.99. I bought the letters for my little girls name. I know what your thinking but I already know what I'm naming my first girl when/if I have children and it was only $4. I couldn't help it. All was so pleasant that I decided to continue the fantasy a little bit. So, here's what I found.

This first one is my favorite but the others are a close 2nd and 3rd.

Love this dresser. It's awesome. And so cute dirty clothes hamper.

Top 2 diaper bags. The one on the right is PERFECTION!

Could this blanket be any cuter?

Super awesome burp clothes. Is 6 enough. No, I'd need more.

Bibs. And the blanket. I want a baby just so I can buy this blanket. It could be her silky. The blanky she loves most of all.

And lastly the little sling baby carrier. It's pink and also super cute.

Sometimes day dreams make life better.

Fergus, Jewellry and burn update.

2010-04-05T10:58:00.000-07:00

We are dogsitting for Clargaret for the month of April. Their dog is a boxer named Fergus. Named Fergus because my Buddy remembered my doggie Fergie and named his doggie Fergus.

This dog is like no other dog I've had the pleasure of knowing before. In the sense that he has a will all his own. He does things for himself and himself only. He is not a people pleasing dog. But he is trainable and he is definately a sweetheart. I'm afraid he's landed himself in doggie boot camp here at the Christiansen home. We are whipping him into doggie shape.

He tends to think he's a little lap dog like my doggies. I really like that about him.

He's walking really well, well better, and he is almost calm the second he comes in the house. And we almost never put the shock collar on him anymore. He is a super sweet heart.

Recently the girls at the salon have been into the new chuncky chain necklaces so I decided to take a stab at them. This is just one that I hve made. I really like them I think. We'll see how they sell. Tell me what you think.

And my burnn is much better. It's pretty much back to the same size it was when it first happend. Now it seems like such a small thing. I can show people now and it's kind of like, " um I know it's really small now but I promise I didn't make a mountain out of a mole hill. Yes, I have to wear this compression band for another 6 months."

It's even smaller now. I think tomorroow I am going to post the life cycle of my burn. That will contain the yucky pictures, so i am giving you far warning.

Update on Colt

2010-03-22T16:36:00.000-07:00

So, Colt has been with my good friends for a week now. He was taken to the vet and has no chip. I also have not recieved any phone calls in regards to him. He is doing very well at his new home. He is walking a leash pretty well. He's a bit timid at first still but once he's going, he's good. My friend still had to carry him into the vets office though. She said he wouldn't get more then 5 feet from the door but has a clean bill of health. She said now that he's settled in he behaves more like a puppy. Chewing his bones and digging holes in the back yard. Which is just fine for now because their back yard isn't landscaped at all. He gets to play with his doggy inlaws and my friends brother comes and plays with him too. She says they love and adore him and that she knows he was sent just for them. She also says her husband is a little jealous of the fact that colt likes her more. They can't wait for her husband to become a canine police man so that colt will have a friend to play with. Oh how I love a happy ending!

Jewelry Making Fool

2010-03-17T09:04:00.000-07:00

I have been making a lot of jewelry this week. Here are just a few samples. If interested check out Ladylike Jewels or head on down to Tantrum Hair Salon.

A client requested a green set so this is what I came up with. I've been told to make another one.

This is a purple/pink set. I was also told I needed more color.

Black swan set.

White long dangly pearl set. I loved this set. It was hard for me to tag and put on display.

Brownish Gold flower set.

Loved this long black set as well.

Another black set. People like the black sets.

This set was a favorite of mine. I was particularly proud of it.

This grey set is particularly awesome as well. I love broach's.

All are way better in person. Especially the white one.

Jack who is now Colt.

2010-03-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

So this weekend, I'm sitting making jewelry an thought, 'I want soup and we don't have any soup. I'll run to the store real quick'. So I grab my purse and go. I get there and see a dog. He had a collar so I just wanted to get to him and call the number on the tag. He had no tag. So, I had no choice, I took him home with me. It was hard. He was very very timid and every time I touched his collar he layed down. Fortunately I had frosted animal cookies in my purse. So I lured him to my car.

After the luring process I decided he looked like a Jack. So thats what I called him. He was very very sweet. Super sweet, couldn't hurt a fly, but definately needs more then a little confidence building.

He's way cuter in person too, I promise. So I posted pictures of Jack on Craigslist 3 times and dreaded surrendering him to mesa animal care and control because he would have no chance at the pound. No loving family looking for a pupppy, would sit with him for a 45 min to build his confidence in them and then see his loving playful side and not just his sweet but very timid side. He, being an un nutered male gave all dominance to my tiny nutered 5 pound chihuahua. I could lay on him, check his teeth, check his ears, scan him all over for bugs and he couldn't care less but grab his collar an he shut right down. He also wouldn't come in the house. left the door oppen all day and he couldn't do more then 2 steps. Super people pleaser dog, though.

I wasn't attached, I promise. Anyways, I had just cut my friend Lindi's hair and she and her husband were looking for a dog. Having no potential owners contact me and being worried about sending him to the pound I called her and told her I had a dog for her. She and her husband came and saw him. They fell in love with him too. I explained that he needed work and they were okay with that. See they sat with him for 45 minutes and then Chuck got up and played a little fetch with him. He's good at fetch. A total natural. They said they were going to get the doggie necessities and then pick him up the next day. I got a call from them around 9:30 instead and they came and got him. They live down the street and around the corner. They are having a house warming party tonight so I get to see Jack. Oh, his name is now Colt. After Chuck's gun. I personally love the name Colt and think being name after a gun will help his confidence. Chuck is a cop and will soon be a canine cop and that means another dog. He fell in love with Colt because of his nature with other dogs.

If you listen to Jonjay and Rich you could have heard Bryce on the, 'after this weekend I'll never do ___________ again', segment. He said, " after this weekend I'll never let my wife go to the store for soup alone." they asked why and he said, " she went for soup and came home with a dog." They all laughed. Yes I am a bleeding heart. I have a brother who is the same way and I'm sure his wife and my husband can relate. Hey, alls well that ends well and hopefully Colt now has a forever home. I think if they give him a week of stability he will be the perfect dog.

Christmas Yearbook Pages

2010-03-12T08:20:00.000-08:00

My family is huge. Because my family is huge we do not do Christmas presents for eachother. Years ago my mother came up with the Christmas Yearbook as the gift for everyone. So we all do at least one page to represent our family for the past year. We give the pages to my mom and she compiles the pages and spiral binds them into a yearbook. These pages are what I came up with for Bryce and I this year.

The basis of our pages were, " If you can laugh, you can survive! ". Pictures and funny quotes.

"If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to the state fair. Because 5 minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty'."

Modern Family

Gloria: I'm taking a shower, would you like to join me?

Jay: Honey, you know there's a gun in the foot locker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me.

30 Rock- Kenneth: Mr Baker wants to do everything himself. I feel about as useless as a moms college degree.

"Always forgive your enemies. Nothing else annoys them so much." Oscar Wilde

30 Rock-

Kenneth: Oh no sir, I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin so I always just write in the Lords name.

Jack: That's Republican. We still count those.

Tracey: A book hasn't caused me this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to a barber pole factory!

Friendship is like peeing on yourself. Everyone can see it but only you get the warm feeling it brings.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side and it holds the world together.

Modern Family

Gloria: Who's side are you on?

Jay: She's my daughter you're my wife. Let's remember what's important, there's a football game on today.

Now if you don't watch Modern Family or 30 Rock, you should. There have been much funnier lines on both since December.

Share the Knowledge- Pedicures

2010-03-04T11:23:00.000-08:00

I did my own pediicure again and this is how it turned out.

Here's What I use. Chip skip, China glaze strong adhesive base coat, China glaze Fast forward top coat, Color of nail polish I want my toes, acrylic paint in the colors I want the decorations on my toes. Yes, acrylic paint. It dries quicker, it is easier to fix, easier to conntrol and more predictable then nail polish. Cotton balls, Nail file, buffer, clippers, and tooth picks. I use the tooth picks that are flat and round on the flat end and tiny and pointy on the other end. These tooth picks make very nice uniform circle every time.

Remove old polish. clip and file nails to the length you want. Then with a very fine buffer, buff the top of the nails. Polish adheres better to a rough surface. Chip Skip is optional but after you buff is when you'd use it.

Okay, this part is important. When you start polishing your toenails (or fingernails) you must paint the tip of the nail.

The tip of the nail must also be painted with the base coat, at least one coat of color and the top coat. Why? This is where your polish first starts to chip and fade. When the tip is polished the chipping and decreases immensely and the pedicure will last at least 6 weeks.

Baby toes as well as big toes.

Also important when you are polishing your toes is to try not to let your polish touch your cuticle. When you do it creates a ridge. The ridge number 1, is obnocious and number 2 can create another area for your polish to chip.

It is better to have your polish 100% dry before you start decorating because then things are erasable, and mistakes are easier to fix. How I do this is, I do a base coat. Your base coat should not have a glossy finish and should dry almost instantly. My fav is the one I mentioned above. Then your first coat of color. Let the first coat dry for at least 15 minutes and then do your second coat. Let your second coat dry for at least 30 min.

I have a paper plate, tooth picks and cotton balls on hand for this.

I always do at least one flower or whatever I'm doing on the plate before I do it on my toe. I also use the plate to decide on colors and design.

On dry polish, dry acrylic paint is erasable. If your do your dots or flower and you dont like it

Let it dry. (usually about 60 seconds)

Then erase it with the small tip of a tooth pick. If you don't want to wait for the acrylic paint to dry, wipe it off with a cotton ball then erase with toothpick.

I clean the tips of my toothpicks with my fingers so they get messy. It seriously washes right off, so don't worry about it. But you can also use cotton balls.

Flowers: for bigger flowers or dots use the large flat end of tooth pick. For smaller flowers and dots use the small pointy end. Put a little acrylic paint in the color of your choosing on your paper plate. Put the tooth pick straght in paint and then touch surface to your toe nail. This is easier if you can brace your hand with your pinky finger. Brace it on floor or toe next to the one you are working on.

See, nice uniform circles. Do one toe and then the other. Then go back to complete the flow.

Complete the flower by connecting the petals. Do this by using the pointy end to drag the paint to the center. If paint is too dry, lightly dip your small end of toothpick back in paint.

Ta Dah. If the edges of your petals converge too much, wipe off your pointy end of tooth pick or use a clean tooth pick and drag between petals to recreate a small space. Sometimes easier if you let it dry for 30 seconds.

If you want a color inside your flower. Repeat what you just did but with new color and pointy end of toothpick. Easier if you let the flower dry for 60 seconds.

Hearts: Two dots right next to eachother.

Then drag outside edge into a V with pointy end of tooth pick.

Then fill in.

Cherries: Two dots side by side but not touching.

Create stem with small pointy end and dragging. Try to do this with a braced hand and one fluid movement. Again, you can use the paper plate to practice.

These pictures are to show you the difference between creating a flower with a second color in the middle and a flower with just the middle dragged out to reveal the polish color underneath.

Flowers of opposite corresponding colors.

Additional decorative dots. Big end of tooth pick for underneath color.

Small pointy pen for inside dot. Clean ends of tooth pick often for more uniform dots.

Then start doing other line patterns. Use small end of toothpick, brace hand and try one fuid motion. However, these are really easy to fix with erasing and tweaking.

This is cute at a diagonal on your toenail.

And once again, my most recent pedicure endeavor. Top coat fixes any small untidyness's. Let decorations dry for about 5 minutes then do top coat. Pretty much dries right away but don't put socks and shoes on or go to bed for at least 30 minutes. Then do your top coat. Your top coat should correct any bubbles, roughness or mistakes you've made, should have a glossy finish and should also almost dry instantly. My fav is the one mentioned and pictured above.

Catch up

2010-03-01T13:32:00.000-08:00

There are some burn pics but they are at the bottom and they aren't that bad. Just letting you know.

This is a baby blessing bracelet for a friend of mine at work. I loved it. I'm pretty sure she did too.

I wear glasses now. I've been farsided my whole life but I also have Dissasociated Horizontal Diviation. Fancy name for I was born cross eyed and my eyes saw 2 different images, one from each eye rather then one image seen by both eyes working together. My brain got tired of seeing disassociated images so it now blocks out what my left eye see's. When it started blocking out what my left eye saw the farsided vision in my right eye self corrected. Now, for some reason it no longer corrects itself and glasses are now needed. I am not allowed to wear contacts so I bought 2 pairs of glasses. This is one pair.

My wonderful sister in law made me some button images for my jewelry website that I am absolutely in love with. She also made me an awesome banner. Need any personalized images of your own or announcement cards of any time check out Tiny Tale Design

Burn pics now.

And my burn, slowly but surely is healing.

Burn Update

2010-02-03T16:03:00.000-08:00

This post contains pictures. So, if you don't want to see them then don't continue reading this post. There is a jewelry post below this though. So, if you want to see the jewelry post close your eyes and scroll down.

This is what my burn looked like before I started to neglect changing the dressing on my burn. Looked really good huh? Then the water that the burn produces made a little water pocket. That water pocket lifted all my nice new skin on the left side.

This is what it looked like after that happend. I tried to leave the skin and see if it would reattach. It didn't. It shriveled up.

And this is what it looks like now. The edge all around he left side has formed again.

I no longer neglect changing the dressings and I've noticed that the skin isn't as white when I change the dressings twice a day.

The end.

Little Ladylike Lewels

2010-02-03T13:36:00.000-08:00

Just a sample of the new designs for your little ladie on Ladylike Jewels.

To see more go to Ladylike Jewels

Check This Out

2010-01-29T22:18:00.000-08:00

Check this Out

Share the knowledge

2010-01-26T13:31:00.000-08:00

Today is a really bad day. And I've decided not to vent and tell you how I feel. That's a step in the right direction right?

Okay so I was talking, while waxing eyebrows, to my niece a little while ago. I told her that her skin looked good and she started telling me about what she didn't like about it. Then I started to tell her what I knew about skin and what would help her and then I thought, "as much as she may want to my 13 yr old niece is not going to remember nor be able to do anything about this info that I am telling her, but her mom could.", and then I thought, " I wonder if anyone else would care to know this info?", of course they would! I want to know so many things. I figure others probably have the same want and may not have the means. And then I thought of all the things my friends know and have a talent in that I do not but would like to know more about. Then A blog friend of mine said she was going to start doing posts with her photo shoot ideas because several people have asked her about them. That's when I came up with share the knowledge. If there is something you know about that others may not, share it. Whether it be computers, food, health, raising kids, decorating, sewing, whatever, share what you know. I have a lot of random information and I also know quite a bit about skin and hair because it is my job. So, I will share the things I know and hope you will start to share the things you know.

First off, skin and makeup. My niece has oily skin. We were talking about makeup and what to use and not use.

#1 no no for oily skin- liquid foundation. Oily skin is shiny. Liquid foundation will only make this worse. As well, it tends to clog sweat glands. When sweat glands are clogged sweat has no where to go, which means it stays on your face all day long and this can then cause your pores to clog and then lead to break outs. The reason for this is that the liquid part of liquid foundation is usually some kind of petrolium or some such substance. Now, dry skin can take the excessive moisturizers such as petrolium and a little more sweat. Sweat is a natural moisterizer and dry skin isn't normally bothered by sweat.

Even though liquid foundation is a no no, liquid concealer is okay. Concealer is used to cover up pimples. Pimples are caused when the pore is already clogged and therefore the pore can not produce sweat anyways. Which means that concealer on a pimple can not do further damage. Once the pimple is popped and starts to dry out, however, I suggest you stop using the concealer and return to you normal foundation.

I reccomend a powder foundation or a tinted moisterizer. I also suggest using as many natural products as you can afford. It's worth it. Plus if you spend $30-$40 on something natural it'll usually last about 6 months and therefore end up costing the same as an $8-$10 item that lasts one month.

My favorite products for all skin types, problem skin, dry skin, oily skin, literally all skin types is Origins. There moisturizers are awesome. A Perfect world is for dryer skin

And Make a difference is for oily or problematic skin.

My favorite facial cleanser is the bar of soap facial cleanser from origins. The bar is $10 and last me about 12 months. Wash morning and night.

I find that when I use this I don't need an exfoliant but if it doesn't naturally exfoliate for you then you do need an exfoliant. If you don't want to buy one sugar works really well. If you have oily skin or problematic skin use a little salt with sugar or a mask of egg white. One egg white one night a week can do wonders for skin. It naturally exfoiates and tightens skin. Just put it on your skin and let it dry and then rinse it off. If you have dry skin leave a little yolk in the egg white. Ashes also make a nice natural facial mask. Just mix clean ashes with a little water and you have yourself a mask.

And next, lets talk a little about burns. I've learned a little on this subject lately. Blisters.

If you burn yourself and it blisters pop it. Yes, pop it. It can't heal until the liquid is gone. Use a nice sharp needle and hold it in a flame for at least 30 seconds to make sure it's sterile. Pop the blister and push the liquid out. DO NOT REMOVE THE BLISTER SKIN. Leave it on. It works as a protectant. This process should not hurt one bit. Even poking the blister with the needle will not hurt.

Once you have popped the blister and drained the fluid put some neosporin on the burn. I like Neosporin+pain relief the best. It has a nice topical pain reliever as well as a natural cooing affect to ease the heat of the burn.

Finally, cover it with a band aid. I suggust a larger band aid. I also don't recommend that you use the tough strip band aids. They are bad for burns. The skin surrounding a burn becomes sensitive and tough strip band aids are just a little too tough for that skin. It can bruise and do further damage to the skin around the burn. Flexible bandaids are nice because they move with the skin.

At night remove the bandaid and clean the area. Leave it open at night. You can put neosporin on it but do not cover it. This will allow the area to dry out a bit and heal quicker.

*3rd degree burns- usually a 3rd degree burn does not blister. If you or your child gets burned and it does not blister I highly recommend you go to Maricopa Medical Center Burn ED(Emergancy Department). They know on site the extent of the burn and if it is not a 3rd degree or worse they will give you information free of charge. Because my 3rd degree burn blistered it took me 9 days to get the proper care for it. That is bad. So other signs of a 3rd degree burn are, #1) the burn does not hurt and is numb. This happens because 3rd degree burns are a full tissue burn. This means it burns through the nerve ending that cause sensation therefore leading to numbness. Another sign of a 3rd degree burn is the burn site being white and not pink or red. Now it can also be white and a little pink or red around the edges. This is due to the tissue being dead. Neosporin is a HUGE no no for 3rd degree burns. The ingredient that keeps all the bad things out of the wound also keeps everything trying to get out or off a 3rd degree burn on and in the burn which is bad.

Okay, that's all the knowledge I have for today. Please spread the knowledge and share what you know.

No more burn pictures, Fergie, and Jewellry

2010-01-22T22:50:00.000-08:00

I have been making more jewelry lately. Here are the latest 2 designs. You can find these as well as others on sale at Tantrum hair salon.

Necklace=$24
Bracelet=$13
Earings=$8
3 piece matching set=$40

I've had a thing for sweaters this winter. I have 4 and they seem to be all I want to wear in this cold weather. My doggie Fergie seems to share love.

When I am done for the night and plop down on the couch to watch a show or two she comes and nudges at my sweater until I make her a little area to fit in. She prefers this to the hot bed whereas my doggie Monty spends %95 of his time in the hot bed.

Christmas stocking project

2010-01-19T10:31:00.000-08:00

This year I decided to make the Christiansen side of my family new personalized Christmas Stockings. I looked all over for base stockings to decorate. You know, just plane old stocking to decorate. The size I wanted and quality I wanted was hard to find. None the less cheap cause we're broke. The cheapest I could find was $10. Now they are 6 of us and I didn't want to spend $60 before I even started decorating them. Plus $20 for the stockings of future Christiansen members. So, I decided to make my own. Using my moms stocking as a pattern. I toyed with the idea of felt and didn't like it. Then I thought of flannel and fleece and didn't like that either. So, I was at Target and a new idea popped in my head.

Towels.

I know. At first I didn't want anyone to know they were towels, but they turned out well enough that I don't care. I found some super soft towels and picked the red and green colors I wanted. I also had to look at the ribbing at the ends of the towels to make sure I could do the names properly.

Each towel cost me $5. They were half off. And I got 2 stockings out of each towel. So, with the 2 future Christiansens in mind I bought 4 towels for a total of $20 and had 8 stockings for $20 instead of $80. Nice right.

I suggest if you do this that you keep the extra material. It can come in handy if you make a mistake and need to cover something up.

I also suggest that you have the decorations for all your stockings laid out before you start gluing or sewing them on. I learned the hard way and made katies twice because the first one I made for her didn't match the rest of the family's.

My family room looked like this for about 3 or 4 days so, be prepared for that. Don't rush the process if you are a perfectionist like me.

Most of the decorations are Ornaments from Hobby lobby that I bought at %50 off. If you do this they have to be light ornaments. If they are heavy they don't work.

The letters, snowflakes and trees and stuff came from the scrapbooking store.

It took me a while to find a package of letter with enough to do all of our names without having to buy more then one package but eventually I did. They are cloth letters even.

Finished products. I have to say that they are much better in person. They did not photograph well.

I put hooks on them and they worked perfect. As you can see here I finished them off by putting off white braided, something, on the middle line on the top of them.

I used a dark olive green because I liked it. My mom hated it though. She said they weren't Christmas green. I've seen stockings that are all kinds of crazy colors nowadays, so if you decide you want to make stockings and then decide you want to make them out of towels, use whatever colors you want. My 6 decorated stockings and 2 undecorated stockings came to a grand total of about $10 each. In my mind that's pretty good. At the urging of my mom and sister, I gave them to my family about 2 weeks before Christmas so, "they could be enjoyed".

Womens jeans.

2010-01-17T20:55:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else have this problem? My thighs are big and my my butt is butilicious. This makes buying jeans, that fit well, rather hard to find. I used to dance so my thighs and butt used to be big due to muscle. Now they are just big. My waist on the other hand is small.

Hear are my jeans. They fit right.

They look like they fit anyways.

And they do is some areas. See, they hug my thighs.

And they hug my tooshy.

But my waist is a whole nother matter. This is like an extra 4 inches.

I mean seriously. I feel like my pants are falling down at my waist all day and when I pull them up they don't go anywhere because they are still nice and on my thighs and bum. What the crap. Peopl say to buy Lucky jeans or Buckle jeans. Not only do those make me feel fat but they don't fit much better, they are super expensive and they are hard waisted. The hard waist is the worst part because when I sit I have rolls. And if you have rolls, a hard waste hurts.

Do any of you have this problem and have you found any nicely fitting comfortable jeans?